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while the healing navigatesmindfullness
the map my heart and mind makes,
it’s the radiating rhythm
of vibration and stillness
that now allows me
to receive what hides
and translate all there is to see.
this journey to knowing,
deep in my essence,
that i am loved.
no matter what i do or don’t do,
even if i don’t do anything i will be loved.
but to believe, i needed courage.
i found it in my body.
my body,
a treasure chest,
its cellular secrets under lock and key
until the moment they were ready to be freed.
in the body
love first develops as hunger.
these walls have cellular memory.
there is a haunting here.
tight fitting skin,
barely wrapping bones
in dehydrated desert conditions
are infused with vitality
fleshed out and expanded
nourished and recalibrated
sensation returning and there,
my breath still held,
i felt full for the first time.
my power is very confusing.
and although my legs just want to run
i can feel my feet begin to find their roots,
sourcing safety for my strength.
i found my grounding
and what feeds me
in asking for help
from an intuitive hand.
my body,
once a fortress,
now begs for entry
and re-entry.
the thaw begins like this,
after being frozen in place
for so long,
waves of flame and prayer
release me,
finally locating the passage
from my heart,
revealing the way to healing.
and so in the softening,
i learn that love
presents in many forms:
in flames on candles carried
in kisses and wishes of peace
in snow surrounding a mountain waterfall.
my body melts
outside its lines.
my thoughts,
my own
for the first time.
and as pieces of me
return or arrive,
desire alone senses
the rise and fall
of what’s alive
and now,
stripped of all
i once defined
myself by,
it takes only a moment
to notice
i have always been
i have always been


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