While working on my next book – about the unforeseen opportunities, empowerment and blessings that have emerged after my divorce – one specific aspect of myself keeps jumping out at me that clearly defines before vs. after : I TOOK OFF THE CAPE!

What a relief to relinquish the image of perfection I had been projecting out to world. Finally breaking free from the Superwoman persona that desperately drove me to solicit outward validation through unrelenting people-pleasing.

I used to think love would come from the outside in, but now know it must grow from the inside first. No amount of external validation will ever match my internal expression of self-love, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance.

At the time, I didn’t realize my divorce was about anything more than my marriage ending. Little did I know it would be the catalyst to my rebirth, just as any change and transition always has the capacity to be – and it’s up to us to allow in what is wanting to happen, while responding in a life-affirming way.

And so I decided to be vulnerable and let people see me sweat. I learned how to ask for help. I gave my pride the year off. I released the belief that being the best and the only one was a viable replacement for love.

Please stop and be still for a moment. Ask yourself this question: “What intention and payoff drives my inner-Superwoman?”

If it’s that you are soaring around searching elsewhere for love, know that you are not alone. Start slowly. You may first just try tucking the cape it inside your shirt, and even though your ego will do its damndest to tug it out, relish in the exploration of how it feels to not have to perform and manage the perception of others.

Once you experience the freedom from no longer constantly trying to prove yourself by garnering those elusive gold stars, you will soon realize that you can actually remove the cape and hang it up for good.