Do you take care of others before yourself?
If you’re like me, the habit of trying to fix and save others will be a tough one to break. My divorce gave me the courage to allow my true identity to emerge so I could finally stop abandoning myself for the sake of rescuing others and not rocking the boat. What a relief to relinquish the image of perfection I had been projecting out to the world! I took off my Superhero cape and finally broke free from the persona I’d created to get validation.
Perhaps you, too, are soaring around, searching for love. Whatever the intention behind your need for perfection and validation, know that you are not alone. Start slowly. First, try just tucking the superhero cape inside your shirt for a day or two. You don’t have to take it all the way off yet! Your ego will do its damnedest to pull it back out (to hell with setting boundaries!) and that’s okay. Just keep reminding yourself that you’re ready to start rescuing yourself instead of everyone else.
And if you’re like me, one day soon you’ll forget all about that cape. You’ll be cleaning out your closet and you’ll find it hiding back there between your winter parka and your raincoat. And you’ll smile. You’ll remember the thrill of being a superhero, but you won’t need that identity anymore. Somewhere along the way, through some miracle, you will have become comfortable with being exactly who you are—with all of your weaknesses and strengths.
Are you wearing a Superhero cape? I’d love to hear how you plan to make steps to choose you!