What is Your Relationship Myth?
We’ve been fueled by fairytales of being rescued from drudgery like Cinderella or awakened from a long sleep by the magic of a kiss like Sleeping Beauty. We women have envisioned ourselves as damsels to be rescued, while men pictured themselves as heroes riding up on white horses. Classic literature, modern music, and movies have […]
Ditching the Either/Or Mentality in Your Relationships
Most of us relate to selfishness and selflessness as mutually exclusive. But they aren’t. We live in a double bind, thinking “if I please myself, I disappoint you. If you please yourself, you disappoint me.” We believe that life is a zero sum game—that if I have something, someone else goes without. Or if someone […]
The Perfect Wife
My Superwoman complex started when I was two years old. That year, my six-year-old brother died. Severely mentally disabled from birth, he had lived his life utterly incapacitated—broken—until he caught pneumonia, and his immune system could no longer fight. I’m told that even as a small child, I took great pride in my independence. […]
“Staying Home” Within Yourself
Many of us lose ourselves the minute we intuit that someone we love is having a need or desire of their own. We might start out anchored, but someone else’s waves can easily throw us off course. My client Maria, for example, has struggled to stay anchored in her own feelings. She says she used […]
Redefining Intimacy
When you use the word “intimacy,” how do you define it? Does your mind immediately jump to sex? A lot of people define intimacy that way—as closeness that’s purely physical. But sex can actually be one of the least intimate things we do. We can easily hide our true selves in favor of a […]
Make Peace With Your Past
Have you ever heard a friend insist, “I’m totally over it! Really—I’ve completely let that go and am ready to move on to bigger and better things in my life.” Meanwhile, you can feel their trigger right under the surface? Maybe their jaw is so tight that their teeth are almost clenched. Clearly, they want […]
The One Thing
There’s a secret Trojan horse in all of the work I do: Regardless of the subject matter, it’s all about self-love. That’s what my previous three books were about, and that’s what my upcoming book, The New Relationship Blueprint is about. Every. Single. Page. In my humble opinion, this whole life is about the lesson […]
The Intersection of Self-Worth and Net Worth
One of the most important lessons I learned after I went out on my own is that self-worth and net worth are proportional. When I increased my self-worth enough to pursue my dreams, I automatically increased my net worth. What a surprise it was to see that I could grow my net worth outside of […]
Is it resistance or wisdom?
When we stop resisting and surrender to the situation exactly as it is, things begin to change. —Debbie Ford How do you know if what you’re feeling is just resistance and not a sign that making a life change would be a mistake? How do you know if it’s an excuse in logical clothing […]
Ignite Your Light!
Accepting our greatness means no longer playing small. It often starts with baby steps. But eventually it means making major changes—in our lives, jobs, relationships, and dreams. If I had believed in my own self-worth, I would never have been willing to make the financial moves I made in the past. If I’d known my […]