There’s a secret Trojan horse in all of the work I do: Regardless of the subject matter, it’s all about self-love. That’s what my previous three books were about, and that’s what my upcoming book, The New Relationship Blueprint is about. Every. Single. Page.
In my humble opinion, this whole life is about the lesson in self-love.
But it’s really easy to forget that, especially when it comes to relationship issues. Instead, we blame others or beat ourselves up when we perceive our relationships aren’t working. Note that I said “perceive our relationships aren’t working.” Sometimes, our attachment to Hollywood romance—the “you complete me” syndrome—causes us to have unrealistic expectations of our relationships. We define a good relationship as one where there is no conflict, no difficulty. When our emotional “stuff” arises it’s easier to believe we “just haven’t found the right mate” than to face the prospect that our own deeper personal growth work may be calling us.
The secret to a powerful, loving relationship isn’t about fixing or enduring problems. It isn’t about improving ourselves in order to “overcome.” Nope. It all boils down to this: Once we truly love ourselves, everything becomes easier.
In fact, you can stop right here if you truly get this point: Relationship is first and foremost where we learn how to love ourselves. Contrary to popular belief, learning how to love others is not the top priority. I could never have the relationship I have now if I hadn’t awakened to myself first. Again, relationship is where we learn how to love ourselves.
You’re going to forget that, but it’s OK. We all do. I’ll be right here to remind you, but mark my words: I’ve just given you everything you need to know in order to have the relationship you truly desire.