I was in a hotel with Louise Hay in London, lamenting the fact that I wanted to jump, but felt too afraid. Big-time resistance!
“It’s like wanting to get to the other side of the river, yet clinging to a branch on this side for dear life,” Louise told me. “The only way we can possibly land over there is to release our grip.”
Lulu, as she is affectionately known, was absolutely right of course. For a long time, I’d tried to have it both ways. I was stretched all the way across that river, not letting go of the past and not fully embracing my future. But there comes a time when we have to trust our own ability to swim, even if we can’t see the other side. We have to trust that we can power ourselves to the other side, and that land will be there to greet us.
Jumping is not only about letting go and leaving, but also about propelling ourselves toward the new—even when we don’t know exactly what the “new” will be! I had no idea what would be coming my way when I left my marriage. I’d been with this man for eighteen years, after all, and we not only lived together but also worked together. Our lives were completely intertwined. Who would I be without him? I could hardly imagine who this A.D. (“After Divorce”) me would be. It was like standing at the edge of a cliff so high that I couldn’t see the river down below.
What I’ve since discovered is that we’re constantly being pushed to the edge of that precipice, and the only thing to do is to muster enough faith to jump into the uncertainty. As writer Ray Bradbury said, “You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.”
I know how scary that sounds, trust me. But isn’t it scarier to remain stuck in a life that you know for sure isn’t working? That’s certainly what I faced with my marriage. That life wasn’t working, but I was so afraid to let it go that for years I wouldn’t admit—not even to myself—how unhappy I truly was.
Whatever it is that’s holding you back from jumping, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I am here and I want to take your hand, guide you to the river and swim with you to the unknown. If you feel like you are stuck, living a life that isn’t working or unsure of what comes next, please join me for my next Free Group Coaching Call — you can sign up right here!