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Living with uncertainty

Don’t get stuck!Uncertainty. The tension of opposites. How, just when we think we have landed, we are actually further unearthed. Ground must be restored, but not through stillness. Stillness will not satisfy. I discovered life as breath: fluidity is the only ground we can seek.

For me, the catalyst of change was the ending of my marriage. For others, it’s the yearning for a new job, a new relationship, a new life. I’d like to share this poem with you about moving through the uncertainty of change as you jump to the life you desire.

into the uncertainty

last night
or very early this morning
he felt me awake
his deep exhale nestling
the nape of my neck
palm resting on the 
small of my back
gently pressing down
to ground me

now
the shorthand
of a marriage
translated
over time
is a lost language
just ancient fragments
of letters and torn
corners of reverie

in the dark
as i move in bed
i get the sense that
i am too big for this
body i’ve had

i surrender and assign
the loving of my body
to you
until i am ready to
love it again

feel like i am pushing
myself out from the inside
stretching this restrictive
container

all the while
i cried and
she stayed
prayed with me
into the uncertainty
still she watches
clearing the way
while i cannot see
stands beside me
when i need strength
to move forward
gently reminding me
that it’s always about
beginning
and then beginning
again

marriage
is a long time
to be away from myself

It takes courage to live with the uncertainty that comes from change. Avoiding this uncertainty can keep us stuck for years in relationships or jobs that no longer serve us. When you truly embrace change, you embrace everything that comes with it, even the uncomfortable parts! Your reward is the life you truly desire.

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