When you make a big change in your life – when you jump – you need support. If you’re a giver like me, you probably find it difficult to ask others to assist you. I know I used to think that asking for help meant I was weak. I also didn’t want anyone to know that there was anything I didn’t know how to do on my own. Ridiculous, right?!
I eventually learned that asking for help opened me up to being willing to receive and draw upon the brilliance and strength of others. And it allowed others to give to me for a change!
Think for a moment how good it feels when you give to others. By not allowing someone else to give to you, you deprive them of that good feeling. So, when you receive, you’re still giving. It’s a win-win!
We hear all the time how it’s better to give than to receive; how we need to be more giving; how wonderful it is to give. And it certainly is. But for the codependent people-pleasers among us, there is an imbalance to our giving. We offer much more than we get back, which isn’t healthy. So learn to allow other people the pleasure of helping you.
When I asked some of my coaching clients to share their stories with me for my book Jump … And Your Life Will Appear, a part of me felt bad about it. They’d have to go to the trouble of writing it all out! Would they have time? Would they find it painful? Would it be a bother? But one after another thanked me profusely for asking them.
They learned something from writing it down. It was cathartic. It was helpful to them. It gave them the gift of sharing their stories with me. Once again, I learned the value of asking for help – not just for my benefit as the recipient, but for the benefit of the givers as well.
When you ask for what you need to receive, you allow someone else to have the pleasure of giving. Asking for help is also a way for you to honor someone’s gifts and talents. When you give someone a chance to do what they do best, you give them a chance to shine.
Imagine a world where everyone feels it’s too selfish to receive. No one would have that profound pleasure of knowing they’ve helped someone else. The world functions in a healthier way when there is a balanced, steady flow back and forth.
If you’re a giver, it can be difficult to learn to make clean, clear, direct requests for assistance. But when you make changes in your life, it’s important to get support. Think about the good feeling you get when you help others. Why would you want to deny that to someone else? Remember, when you receive you still give… it’s a win-win!
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