Last weekend, zipping about as I was producing and emceeing Hay House’s I Can Do It Pasadena conference, I kept hearing the same thing from several people – good friends and long-standing attendees alike: “You’re so soft now.”

Me? Soft? {Audible Gasp}

My gut response was fear that something in my foundation must be way off track. That I had lost my hyper over-achieving sense of responsibility, my edge. And worse yet, what if I could never get it back!

Then, as each one went on to comment about my calmness, my fullness, my groundedness, my beaming beauty and joy – and even my looking 10 years younger! – it took me a moment, but I ultimately realized they all meant it as a compliment.

The perfectionistic, high-functioning enneagram type 3 in me has only ever known that efficiency is found in cracking the whip of rigidity and restriction. Happiness and fun were irrelevant, all that mattered was everything being perfect and punctual.

But in the past year – and especially the last few months – everything has changed. I have embraced laughter and love. I have done the unthinkable, the impossible. I know this to be true.

And – unbeknownst to me until now – this is even perceptible to an observer’s naked eye.

This accessibility to my underbelly, this transparency, this softness has been hard won – borne out of finally trusting my heart and following it, instead of my fear; saying “no” instead of my knee-jerk reaction of “yes”; honestly owning what i want to do and letting go of that which no longer serves me; feeling the FOMO (“fear of missing out”) and still saying “no” anyway; believing that i can be as efficient – or more so – leading with grace and love; sharing my truth freely and allowing others to really see and feel me.

The voices of fear still taunt, but I have learned how to keep them at bay by overriding with love, trusting that I will never abandon myself again.

Please share what you do to stay soft and real, keeping fear from seducing you…I’d love to hear!