being held and belonging

it all changed
the mood
the pulse
the pace
the swelling
the room itself
was swollen
grounded in trust
as if my body was a napkin
being pulled through a ring from the pelvis
deep into the earth

or like a candle melting down from the inside
dripping and pooling at the base of my spine
if i was someone who would say
it’s my kundalini coiling and rising
then i would say that

now allowing my body
to feel the sensation of wanting
don’t have to try so hard
don’t have to try or think at all
to conjur anything to get myself anywhere
other than where i am

the point of contact
the point of entry
as friction gives way
purely physical response
riding the edge of the wave
unharnessed pleasure
blossoming and going over
the richness and
the yumminess of it
the heightened sense
of being held and belonging
upon return to this body and breath

let go of the ground that has held you
recognize that your only hope
is to be comfortable with uncertainty
so much strength and stamina
found in the ungrounding
sailing past safety

i can’t go back into the darkness
after finally emerging into the light

finally
i am learning
how to be loved