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Befriend Your Resistance

I love a line in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Eat, Pray, Love: “The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.”

It rings so true, especially when you’re wanting to jump, and find yourself sitting in the uncertainty of the unknown.

Inner conflict is one of the ways we stay stuck. As long as we’re sitting on the fence, we don’t have to pick a side, hop down, and get on with our lives. Since my coaching is one massive attempt to help you disengage from your inner stalemate and make the best decision you can, we’ve got to talk about resistance.

You will have doubts. It’s not a one-time deal; you will inevitably have to make your choice over and over. I had to keep choosing to get divorced and not go back … over and over again. I had to reevaluate my decision more times than I can count. In fact, it became a daily practice.

None of us likes change.

Our natural impulse is to come up with all sorts of reasons why we should stay right where we are.

You’ll have to keep reminding yourself what you want and why the change is necessary … in spite of your resistance. And, yes, you’ll have to keep choosing, every day and every moment, to move forward—toward your fulfilling future.

As my friend Dr. Christiane Northrup says, “We heal through repetition. Each time on the spiral we go back to the same place but we’re on a higher rung, or deeper section of that particular issue.” So, every time you act in spite of your fear voices, you grow stronger.

The most important thing to remember about your resistance is that it isn’t necessarily a sign you should abandon your plan to jump. It’s just that that is where your comfort zone is—the familiar.

In my own initial jump—divorcing my husband—I approached resistance with a sword, ready to wage war. I thought if I could just muscle through the resistance, and outlast it, that I would be victorious. But the funny thing is…it doesn’t quite work out that way.

Resistance is like a beach ball. When you push it underwater, it pops back up to the surface even stronger. (Thanks to my late, great friend and mentor Debbie Ford for that great analogy.) So, as you move closer to making your jump, accept that resistance is bound to pop up to the surface and possibly even hit you in the face. Don’t push it back down. Let it be there.

And today I’m going to even ask you to…befriend it.

Now why would I want you to do that?

Resistance rears her uninvited head in the form of negative thoughts and feelings, attitudes, self-judgment, anger and distraction. But she’s a part of you. How you react to resistance may be the difference between staying where you are and breaking through to realizing your greatest desires. Instead of resenting her and wishing her ill will, you might as well sidle up to her and ask her if she wants to go get a cup of coffee.

By befriending your resistance, you honor and acknowledge her but you take away her power and eliminate the conflict. Think of her as a guide, whose job is to test you as you progress on your journey. Every time you notice she’s knocking on your door, offer to buy her a latte and inform her that you’re going to keep moving forward anyway.

Resistance is a natural part of the process. How you deal with it is up to you.

I want to help you befriend your resistance. You deserve it!

Join me for my next Complimentary Jump Group Coaching Call and find your truth!

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