How do we take stock of our worthiness quotient? First and foremost, we notice ourselves in the act of self-judgment. One of the easiest ways to tell if your self-worth could use a tune-up is judgment. Do you get very upset when you make a mistake? Do you say, “Argghh! I’m such an idiot!” Do you tell yourself that you aren’t smart enough, aren’t good enough, aren’t capable?
Sometimes, that voice of judgment is so automatic that we don’t actually “hear” it, but we sure do feel it. That’s when the excuses come in. “Oh, I can’t join that class. It’s stupid.” “I can’t take that job. It’s too far away. What a commute that would be!” Underneath those excuses is the longing for the very thing we’re pushing away. And we push it away because we’re afraid we aren’t good enough.
Also underneath the excuses are our “what ifs”—“What if I’m not good enough to get that job?” “What if I’m not smart enough to keep up in that class?” We would rather stay safe and small than take the risk of finding out that our “what ifs” are correct.
But here’s the thing: When your self-worth is strong, the “what ifs” aren’t so scary. What if you take the class and find out you can’t keep up? So what? If your self-worth is solid, it won’t be damaged by such a thing. You aren’t going to die if you can’t keep up in some old class! The same is true of that job. If you don’t get it, so what? It’s hardly the only job in the world. With a strong sense of worthiness, we’re much less likely to let “failures” get us down. Instead, we see them as learning experiences that propel us forward to even better opportunities.
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