Setting Boundaries (Even When It Seems Impossible)

“Sit on the floor,” my therapist said. I looked at her skeptically. Had she lost her marbles? But she was patiently waiting for me to do as I was told, so I slowly skootched off the couch and onto the carpet.

She handed me a long piece of rope and told me to make a boundary around myself, illustrating my own personal space.

Without thinking too hard, I hugged my knees tightly into my chest and made myself as small as possible before circling the rope as close to my body as I could. Wow, this was a very telling exercise!  Clearly, I didn’t have any boundaries. The reality was right there in front of me—or around me—and I couldn’t deny it any longer. I was willing to be violated if it served or pleased someone else. I am hardly alone out there. Most of us don’t know the first thing about how to set boundaries.

How are your boundaries? Think they’re too hard to make?  

I have a process for creating a Self-Love Map and setting boundaries. To read about it and begin the work of creating your new self-love map, check out my article, How To Set Boundaries (Even If You Think You Can’t), on MindBodyGreen!

And… after you set one, would you share it with me here? I would love to hear about the work you are doing to create positive, lasting change in your life… and as you jump!


  1. Debra Baxter on May 14, 2014 at 7:50 am

    The boundary I have set is to try to distance myself from negative people or to ask ArchAngel Michael to shield me from the negative feelings that a negative person is arousing in me. For my husband who I am trying to separate myself from…that is harder. I am bouncing back and forth. When I am with him, I want to run away. When I am away from him, I want to go back to him. I think there is something wrong with me.

  2. Daisy Wong on May 14, 2014 at 10:45 am

    I am working on this right now!! It’s amazing how I allow others to cross my own boundaries. I guess it’s easy to do when I don’t even know where I stand. Thanks for sharing, what an eye opening exercise.