run toward joy & fun – it’s self-sabotage not to

i got stuck last night. in an old pattern. again. even though i have been consciously driving myself toward new ways of relating, sometimes i forget my new navigation system and fall prey to habit. this time was a little different. i had the awareness, as it was happening, that an opportunity was being presented to me. an opportunity to bypass my knee-jerk reaction and change, right then and there, in the present moment. to operate from a place of doing what my heart wanted versus doing only what made the most practical sense. it was a little messy as i felt the struggle – internal and external – of feeling pulled each way. but my whole gig right now is about getting free. and i am learning that, for me, it’s actually self-sabotage not to run toward joy and fun. i know my capacity and what i’m capable of. i don’t ever need to run toward responsibility since that’s ingrained in me, no matter what. but i can’t keep mourning my unlived life if i don’t jump at the chance for adventure when it’s desired and totally doable. last night i saw the inner workings of this play out in a new way. the next time “an opportunity” presents itself, i will remember to access my joy and dive in – without second guessing myself first.

4 Comments

  1. Reiki Roxy on November 5, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    Fab stuff! Feeling the same. Breaking the habit is supported by feeling safe – you may enjoy my blog post on feeling safe! Fear is the only thing that inhibits that leap of faith! xxx



  2. Rose on February 15, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    You are writing my life right now. Thank you for putting it into words. Habits are hard to break but awerness brings in the light! Light illuminates our choices. Going for joy is the greatest light to live in daily.



  3. kelly on April 24, 2013 at 5:30 am

    i like what your saying.



  4. kelly on April 24, 2013 at 5:53 am

    i’m liking what you have to say.