I know it sounds irrational. If I’d stopped to really think about it, I would have realized that what I expected of myself was unrealistic. But I was operating on automatic pilot, and I was attached to the belief that I could somehow do it all without anyone ever seeing my weaknesses. Somewhere deep in my psyche was the belief that if they saw a weakness in me, everything would fall apart.
So I never asked for help. To me, asking for help would mean I wasn’t enough. That I was a failure, imperfect. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
This lesson was really solidified for me when, uncharacteristically, I found myself feeling ill off and on for a period of a year. It wasn’t just your run of the mill cold or flu. I was dealing with adrenal fatigue and even had a serious bout with vertigo that made me dizzy, nauseated, lethargic, and gave me distorted, blurred
I had never experienced anything like it. For ten days, I was completely ungrounded and housebound. Of course, I called Louise Hay and asked, “What is going on?” “This is the universe proving to you that you actually are not in control of anything and that you need to rest and surrender and receive,” she told me.
The heart can hurt, the mind can deal, the emotions can get sorted out, but the body can take you out at the knees. I was essentially incapacitated, so I had no choice but to ask for help.
Louise saw me in a way that I had never been willing to see myself—as a human being with both strengths and weaknesses. She inspired me to embark on a path of self-discovery and self-love, and she gave me the courage to be transparent.
I wasn’t perfect. I needed help. And that was okay.
This past week, our Jump Coaching group began asking for help. When we make a big change in our lives—when we jump—we all need support. If you’re a giver like me, you probably find it difficult to ask others to assist you. But think for a moment about how good it feels when you give to others. By not allowing someone else to give to you, you deprive him or her of that good feeling. So, when you receive, you’re still giving. It’s a win-win!
- We hear all the time how it’s better to give than to receive.
- We hear how we need to be more giving
- We hear how wonderful it is to give.
And it certainly is. But for the codependent among us, there is an imbalance to our giving. We offer much more than we get back, which isn’t healthy. So learn to allow other people the pleasure of helping you.
Asking for help means showing vulnerability. It makes you more human to others. They can identify with you and relate to you, often for the first time. They’ll feel closer to you. Asking for help ends loneliness. Allow people more into your world so that they can see all of you, and you will discover help is right there.
You only have to ask.
Who can you ask for help from today?