lean into the loving

With this week’s poem post, I invite you to explore the terrain of releasing any limiting beliefs currently holding you back so that you may fully inflate and trust your own force now. While this poem is specifically about my experience of leaving a long marriage, its message of liberation is universal. A few weeks ago while I was with Wayne Dyer on our “Experiencing the Miraculous” European tour, I became acutely aware of actually feeling change and liberty occur, on a cellular level, right in the moment: from Wayne invoking St. Francis during his lecture inside the 13th century Abbey San Pietro in Assisi;  to the three nuns who embraced me, filling me with love, at the end of the magnificent candlelight procession in Lourdes;  to hiking up past snow-line in the Pyrenees to the tallest waterfall in Europe, and having it emerge from the cloud-cover just as we approached it; to craniosacral bodywork in Croatia that dissolved frozen fears of the past, unlocking present power, healing, creativity and enchantment. Notice the miraculous moments in your life – while they are happening – and let them serve as reminders that your strong, brave, free voice and vision are vital!

 

lean into the loving

my primary landscape
needs healing
crevasses and couloirs
reaching into spring
an initiation
way before this took root in me
the past unfreezing
echoing inside my present

theft continues but i gave it away
keep walking
and cleanse
watch for what needs to grow

i come from the canyon
left in the loss of the past
this primal concept
of giving and receiving
is ancestral
i took on his loss
by osmosis thru them
and the chasm was born right there
family legacy
picked up and carried forward

primary heartbreak is no longer
my marriage ending
it is only the breakthrough
to what i have been longing for

what we can’t deal with
consciously
we deal with
unconsciously

you need a downstroke to ground
she said
if i was as powerful as you
i’d pay someone to stand on my chest too
this is the way that he loved me
containing me
restraining me
until i felt my own force

i brought myself here
i placed him there
had you ever believed you were enough
you would have left
i let him hold me until i knew freedom

my turn around is to know
i no longer need an empty well
to fill
reality is a rushing waterfall
a surge of relief invoking the truth
i can only know what i know
when i know it
i am the other half of this chaos
but still
you didn’t break his heart
it was already broken

restrain relax surrender release
relieving myself from restriction
i now lean into the loving

 

~ from Writing for My Life…Reclaiming the Lost Pieces of Me: A Poetic Journey by Nancy Levin