For a long time I didn’t believe I had any choice.

I was too afraid of the consequences of leaving my marriage –or my job, for that matter – that I allowed myself to stay stuck. Which I know now was actually a choice…

And guess what? Divorce, entrepreneurship and major change didn’t annihilate me. In fact, they did the exact opposite! And today I have more personal power than I ever thought possible.

If I can do that so, can you.

Throughout my marriage, I gave away my power bit by bit. But it wasn’t anything new. I’d been giving away my power my whole life, by serving everyone around me and burying my own needs. I was addicted to striving for perfection, from a very young age.

On the outside, I appeared successful and happy. But one of my core limiting shadow beliefs was that I had to be perfect and indispensable in order to be loved. And it was exhausting! I was the victim of my own striving for happiness, and, as a result, was tremendously unhappy.

I created drama in order to make excuses for my unhappiness. I was the ultra-responsible employee, wife, daughter, friend… but I had not taken responsibility for my own life. Drama is the perfect defense mechanism, because it cloaks the pain of the past. “I can’t make a different choice right now, because I’m too busy dealing with this problem. If I don’t deal with it, no one else will!” Sound familiar?

Most of the pain we create in our lives is based on the inability to separate fact from fiction. Reality may feel threatening, but it’s a lot scarier to continue to live with stories we tell ourselves that aren’t true. We choose to tell ourselves false stories in order to avoid “what is.” But the truth won’t be denied forever. Every story, every excuse you make saps your strength and your power. Fight against your fears, take responsibility for your choices, and empower yourself to live the life of your dreams.

The antidote to excuses is taking responsibility and making choices. Reconnect with what you want. When you envision your life after you’ve made changes, how does it feel? Do you feel excited by the possibilities? Imagine what it would be like to let go of fear and have whatever you want. If there were no consequences whatsoever, which choice would you make – to stay the same or to change?

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