Nancy
When was the last time someone asked how you were doing and you truly allowed yourself to be honest? Being the strong one is a paradox.
It makes you feel needed, accomplished, and gives you a sense of belonging while simultaneously amplifying your inner critic, driving you to meet impossible expectations at the expense of your own well being.
Nancy
Welcome to The Nancy Levin Show. I’m Nancy Levin. Founder of Levin Life Coach Academy, best selling author, master coach, and your host. I help overachieving people pleasers set boundaries that stick and own self worth, anchored in empowered action, so you can feel free.
Plus, if you’re an aspiring or current coach, you are in the right place.
Join me each week for coaching and compelling conversations designed to support you in the spotlight as you take center stage of your own life.
Let’s dive in.
Nancy
Welcome back to the Nancy Levin Show.
If you have ever felt like you’re wearing success as a shield, if your accomplishments have become the very thing that keep you stuck in a cycle of proving your worth, this episode is for you.
Because today we’re uncovering the dark side of being a driven, accomplished woman.
The patterns that keep us overextended. Isolated and unfulfilled, even as we may appear to be thriving…
…And most importantly, we’re exploring how you can shift these patterns to create true fulfillment while still honoring your ambition.
Many driven women. use our accomplishments as a way to prove our worth to ourselves and to others.
So while on the outside we might seem strong and capable, on the inside we often feel disconnected, unfulfilled, or even lonely.
Pause for a moment here and reflect when was the last time you achieved something that should have had you feel on top of the world, yet you still felt an underlying emptiness.
The pursuit of success can become a mask that hides deeper fears, such as not feeling enough without external validation.
This can lead to burnout, dissatisfaction, and a life that looks great on paper but feels empty inside. Success in and of itself is not the problem.
The issue arises when success becomes a mask; when we use it to cover up the parts of ourselves that feel unworthy or incomplete.
The paradox is that no amount of external success can truly satisfy an internal need for self acceptance. So if you’ve ever found yourself wondering, why do I feel so empty when I’ve accomplished so much? You are not alone.
And the answer is not in doing more. It is in shifting how you relate to success itself.
So take a moment here and ask yourself, if I weren’t measuring my worth by what I achieve, What would I be left with?
Because this is where the real work begins. High achieving women often live by an “I’ll handle it mentality”, taking on more than we should and holding ourselves to impossible standards.
And this perfectionism can lead to chronic stress, a lack of boundaries and an inability to ask for help. The constant drive to excel can make you feel like you’re never doing enough, even when you’re already overextended.
Recognizing that perfectionism is unsustainable and often rooted in fear allows you to redefine success on your own terms.
So let’s unpack that. How often do you find yourself saying, “I’ll just do it myself because it feels easier than delegating or asking for support?”
Perfectionism is an unsustainable standard. And again, it’s rooted in fear, fear of disappointing others, fear of being seen as not enough, fear of losing control.
But here is the truth. Perfectionism doesn’t protect you. It isolates you.
It makes you harder on yourself than you would ever be on anyone else. Imagine, just for a moment, what it would feel like to release the pressure. To redefine success in a way that allows you to honor your energy, your needs and your well being, not just your output.
It’s not just possible. It is essential.
And I invite you to sit with this. What if true success means allowing yourself to be supported?
Being the strong one is a paradox. It makes you feel needed, accomplished, and gives you a sense of belonging while simultaneously amplifying your inner critic, driving you to meet impossible expectations at the expense of your own wellbeing.
The result? Resentment, burnout, emotional exhaustion. Guilt. Then, you crave lots of space and solitude to recover, yet the constant demand to show up for others drains you even further.
This unsustainable cycle creates emotional distance and is a pattern many women endure for years. And the irony? You believe being the strong one will bring connection and closeness.
The truth? It often creates the opposite.
The need to be left alone and a pervasive sense of unfulfillment that no amount of doing or achieving can fix. So think about this.
When was the last time someone asked how you were doing? And you truly allowed yourself to be honest. We tell ourselves that being the strong one will bring us closer to others.
But in reality, it creates emotional distance.
Because if no one ever sees your struggles, how can they truly connect with you? If you never allow yourself to be vulnerable, how can you experience deep support and intimacy you crave?
Being driven doesn’t mean you have to carry everything alone. The key to using your drive for sustainable success and deeper connection, vulnerability, allowing others to see the real you flaws, mistakes, and all doesn’t make you less strong….
It makes you human.
And a million times more magnetic to the connection you crave. So I invite you to consider where in your life can you invite more vulnerability? Where can you release the belief that you always have to be the strong one? Where can you soften? Even just a little to let in the support and connection you deserve because you do deserve it.
And the first step is allowing yourself to receive it. So here is a challenge for you this week.
Share one real vulnerable truth with someone you trust. Notice how it feels and see what shifts. And if you’re ready to create more fulfillment and purpose in your journey without giving up your drive or ambition, I have a few openings to personally coach you into the best version of you while dropping unhealthy habits like people pleasing and perfectionism.
Simply visit nancylevin. com slash talk to schedule a complimentary conversation so we can explore if we’re a fit because true success is not about carrying the weight of the world. It’s about learning to carry yourself with love, with ease and with the kind of strength that allows you to be fully seen.
Thanks so much for being here with me and I’ll see you again next week on the Nancy Levin show.
Thanks so much for joining me today. I invite you to head on over to Nancy Levin.com to check out all the goodies I have there for you. And if you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a rating and a review.
I’ll meet you back here next week
Plus, if you’re an aspiring or current coach, you are in the right place. Join me each week for coaching and compelling conversations designed to support you in the spotlight as you take center stage of your own life.
Let’s dive in.
Nancy:
Welcome back to the Nancy Levin Show.
If you’ve been feeling stuck in an endless loop of fixing, managing, and planning your way into happiness, only to find yourself right back where you started, then this episode is for you because today we’re talking about something that most of us have been conditioned to resist, discomfort.
So I know it is natural to want to fix what feels broken.
It is natural to crave certainty and to plan every detail so nothing unexpected can knock you off course.
But here’s the truth. Happiness is not found in the perfect plan, and reinvention doesn’t happen through fixing.
Today, I’m going to offer you a new perspective on everything you thought you knew about how to move forward when life feels unmanageable.
So, settle in. We are about to go deep.
Nancy:
Discomfort doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It’s actually a sign that something is changing.
So instead of avoiding it, consider this. Discomfort is the space where transformation happens.
When you stop trying to fix or control your way out of it, you create room for clarity and self discovery and growth.
We often think that if we can just learn more, read more, gather more information, we’ll somehow sidestep discomfort.
Being a seeker or an accumulator of information might temporarily lift you out of discomfort. But acquiring more information does not equal transformation.
True transformation is in the implementation.
Making a different choice in a triggering or challenging scenario.
Taking a breath before reacting. Choosing a new response instead of defaulting to an old habit.
These are the moments where reinvention happens. Think about the last time you were in a situation that had you uncomfortable. Maybe it was a conversation that brought up emotions you weren’t expecting.
Maybe it was stepping into a new role at work or finally setting a boundary in a relationship.
Whatever it was, whatever that discomfort was, it wasn’t a sign to turn back. It was a sign that something in you was shifting.
And the more we embrace discomfort as a doorway instead of a danger, the more we allow ourselves to grow.
Here’s the deal: extra productivity and planning everything to a “T” can be a response to uncertainty and give a false sense of control, especially during a time of transition in life.
How often do we convince ourselves that if we just keep busy enough, if we just plan hard enough, we’ll find happiness.
We say to ourselves, once I get that next certification, I’ll finally feel confident.
Or once I take that dream vacation, I’ll finally feel relaxed.
Or once I find the right person, my life will fall into place. But the truth, another certification, promotion, vacation, another new person, another seminar won’t bring you lasting happiness.
In fact, planning everything to a “T” can lead to more unfulfillment because we never allow ourselves to fully learn how to go with the flow when life throws an unexpected curveball.
Instead of over planning and over controlling, what if you allowed yourself to trust?
What if we released the need to micromanage every outcome, and instead got curious about what life was teaching us in real time?
What if instead of trying to force certainty, we embraced the unknown?
With openness, the discomfort of not having a perfect plan is often where our most profound breakthroughs happen.
If you’ve been stuck in planning mode, ask yourself, what am I actually avoiding?
What could happen if I allow myself to be present instead of obsessed with the future?
When you’re constantly trying to fix everything, you’re focused on external solutions, finding the next relationship, changing careers, or creating a perfect plan.
Even finding yourself consumed by helping someone else out of their problems is a major distraction that keeps you unclear on what you really want.
These fixes often come from a place of fear, not alignment. And the result, you end up recreating the same unfulfilling patterns in a different package.
Think about it.
When you bounce from one thing to another, hoping that this next thing will finally make you happy, you’re never actually stopping long enough to listen to yourself.
You’re never asking, what do I truly want? What is underneath my need to fix everything around me?
When we stop trying to fix, we create space to listen, and in that space we often realize that what we truly desire isn’t more control, it’s more trust in ourselves.
If you’ve been caught in this cycle, I invite you to pause.
To stop looking outward for the next solution and instead look inward for the truth that has been waiting for you all along.
True reinvention requires turning inward instead of outward. And so this week, when you find yourself challenged by circumstances out of your control, instead of asking, what can I do to fix this?
Ask, what do I need to feel whole again?
This shift in focus allows you to rebuild your life from a place of authenticity, not desperation. When we stop trying to fix and start honoring what we need, our choices become crystal clear. We move from reacting to responding, from controlling to trusting, from avoiding to embracing.
And this is where we are. Reinvention roots in and if you need more in depth support with reinventing your life after a big transition, or if you feel on the verge of an inevitable transition, I have opened a few spaces to coach you personally one on one so you can turn a tough transition into your greatest transformation and the very best version of you yet.
Simply visit www.nancylevin. com/talk to schedule a time for us to connect.
Remember, you do not have to fix your way into happiness. You don’t have to control every detail of your life to feel safe.
You just have to be willing to meet yourself in the discomfort and trust that your reinvention is already unfolding.
Thanks again for being here. And most importantly, for showing up for yourself and please remember if you want support one on one, I am here for you.
All you need to do is visit nancylevin. com/talk to book a time for us to connect. I look forward to being with you again on the Nancy Levin show next week.
Thanks so much for joining me today. I invite you to head on over to nancylevin. com to check out all the goodies I have there for you.
And, if you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating, and a review. I’ll meet you back here next week.