Nancy: I’ve got some news to share with you. There is no medal, there is no prize, there is no award that you are ever going to win for overgiving. There is no pride to be taken in making sure that everyone else has exactly what they need while you go without.
So today I wanna support you in giving yourself permission to give to yourself.
Nancy: Welcome to Your Permission Prescription. I’m Nancy Levin, founder of Levin Life Coach Academy, bestselling author, master life coach, and your host. I train life coaches, aspiring coaches, and anyone who wants to add coaching skills to their current career to elevate their life and their business. I’ve coached thousands of people to live life on their own terms, and now I coach, train, and certify other coaches to do the same.
If you are ready to give yourself permission to finally make yourself a priority and mobilize your vision, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive in.
Nancy: Welcome back to another episode of Your Permission Prescription. If you are listening as this episode is dropped, then tomorrow, Tuesday, September 19th, 2023, the doors to Levin Life Coach Academy open for enrollment.
And here’s the deal, aspiring and current coaches choose LLCA for no bullshit training and certification plus business building practices. And today, I wanna extend a special invitation to my people pleasers out there. I know you’re there. This episode is especially for you because as a recovered people-pleaser myself, I know how hard it can be to make an investment in yourself.
So I wanna support you in uncovering the blocks to allowing yourself the freedom to create a life and career you love and to receive abundantly as well. So if you are an aspiring coach or a current coach wondering why you’re not experiencing the success you know you deserve, this episode is for you. And this episode is also for you if you identify with being a people pleaser, a peacekeeper, a conflict avoider, and you make sure that everyone else has what they need while you go without.
So if this is ringing true for you, lean in. You are likely someone who gets your sense of worthiness by overgiving to others. And I’ve got some news to share with you. There is no medal, there is no prize, there is no award that you are ever going to win for overgiving.There is no pride to be taken in making sure that everyone else has exactly what they need while you go without. So today I wanna support you in giving yourself permission to give to yourself.
And if you’ve already heard the bells going off in your head, saying something like, isn’t that selfish? In this context, if you feel guilty about giving to yourself or doing for yourself, it’s actually a good sign. It is a signal that you are on the right track to honoring yourself and your own needs.
So I’m here to support you in no longer giving every ounce of your energy, time, and money to everyone else but you. And instead, learn to check in with yourself to see what it is that you are in need of so you can give to yourself as well.
I want to be really clear here. This is not an either/or, it’s a both/and, but I also want you to recognize if you tend to give to others as a way to buy their love and ensure safety, are you giving to others so that you are ensuring attention and admiration? Are you giving to others because you know you need the external validation in order to feel good about yourself?
If any of these are ringing true, I want to support you in knowing that you can give yourself your own validation. And what is most important here is that you approve of you.
Nancy: I’m not one to keep secrets, and that is why I created my FREE live Masterclass: 3 Surprising Secrets Every Life Coach Needs to Know. If you want the truth about what it takes to become the life coach people are searching for, I invite you to join me as I guide you to the key actions every aspiring and current coach must take to set a foundation for lifelong success.
The world needs skilled, confident, trained and certified coaches more than ever. Now is the time to say yes to you and the future you desire. Visit nancylevin.com/secrets to register for my free live masterclass: 3 Surprising Secrets Every Life Coach Needs to Know, and become the life coach you are meant to be.
Nancy: As I’ve already mentioned, the doors to Levin Life Coach Academy open tomorrow. And whether you are an aspiring or current coach, you may be holding yourself back to saying yes to you because you believe there is virtue in going without and making sure everyone else gets what they need first.
You might not be giving yourself permission to enroll because you tend to think that giving to yourself or investing in yourself isn’t something you can give yourself permission for.But the truth is, that no one can give you permission but you.
So you can give yourself permission to explore LLCA if it feels like a calling for you. If it feels interesting or intriguing to you, it’s not only okay to give yourself permission, it’s vital and essential to you feeling true fulfillment and satisfaction and meaning in your own life.
So ultimately, this is about giving yourself permission to invest in yourself. Invest the time, invest the energy, invest the money. And if it feels uncomfortable, know that that’s natural. Especially if you’re not used to putting attention on yourself in this way.
And I really want you to know that I get it because I’ve been where you are. I was a champion people pleaser, peacekeeper, over-giver, overachiever. Before I left my marriage, which is now 13 years ago, I bought a brand new mattress for our bed because he had been complaining. I bought it because I wanted to stay safe and try not to rock the boat and keep us together. I spent so much money on my then husband, motorcycles, condos, anything he wanted, and yet I would never invest in anything for myself. I bought him a brand new truck three months before I left for good. I paid for it outright in cash to try and buy his love. In fact, for two years after that, when anyone asked why I didn’t have a car, I answered because he got it in the divorce like it was the only car in the entire world. It literally took me two years to buy myself a car because I had convinced myself it wasn’t necessary. Just like I had convinced myself that I didn’t need to get my refrigerator fixed when it was no longer keeping food cold because I could just make do and live with it.
I write about all of this in my book Worthy, actually, when I was separated, my dear friend Patty, who has always been one of my worthiness mentors, Patty took me shopping and I bought a forever dress that cost me more than I had ever spent on anything material for myself at that time. And in order to do that, I really had to believe that I was worthy of spending this money on myself.
And what it really came down to was not a scorecard or tit for tat of all the money I had spent on him that I didn’t spend on me, it was more about being willing to give myself permission to experience the joy of giving myself something that I want. Really tuning into my own ability to receive that much. So for people pleasers, we have a difficult time expanding our capacity to have. We value ourselves in what we can give.
So the question I ask you right now, especially if you relate to being a people pleaser, a peacekeeper, someone who overdoes and overgives, someone who buys love, to ensure safety, to ensure the status quo, what would it look like if you gave yourself permission to fulfill your own needs? Are you willing to look at the needs you have, the desires you want to live into? Are you willing to invest in yourself? Because that’s what it comes down to. Are you willing to invest in yourself?
And again, this is not just about money. Are you willing to invest time in yourself? Are you willing to invest attention and energy on yourself? Are you willing to uphold boundaries for yourself about what you want to create in your life? Are you willing to pick yourself up and live in your own approval and sense of self-worth to make a change and to make a difference in your own life and in the lives of others?
Everything changed in my own life when I was willing to put my attention on me instead of everyone else first. Now again, this is not an either/or, it’s a both/and. I am now willing to give myself permission to consider my own needs, not only at least as much as I’m considering the needs of others, not only more than I consider the needs of others, but I give myself permission to consider my needs before I consider the needs of others. Again, it’s not an either/or, it’s a both/and.
If this seems selfish, remember that self-love, self-care, and selfish are three sisters whose job it is to support you in honoring yourself. If you feel guilty putting your needs first, remember that guilt is an indicator you’re on the right track to honoring yourself.
So my question for you is, are you willing to give yourself permission to consider your own needs at least as much as you’re considering the needs of others?
Because I would love nothing more than to support you inside of Levin Life Coach Academy. You can open up to receive the experience of what happens when you are willing to say yes to you.
So if you’re on the fence, if you’re scared, if you’re feeling like it would be totally new to give yourself something like this, ask yourself, where will I be a year from now if I don’t make this choice, today? You have an opportunity to make a choice and take an action that will not only change the rest of your own life, but it will change the lives of others around you and those you serve. If you wait another year, all you do is put yourself one year behind.
I am inviting you to make the choice to say yes to you and enroll in Levin Life Coach Academy.
I know I’ve given you a lot to think about today. Most importantly, I want you to remember you are worthy of choosing you, and you can choose yourself by giving yourself permission to invest in you and your future.
I’m delighted you joined me today. I hope to see you on the inside of LLCA and I’ll also be back again with you here next week.
Nancy: Thanks so much for joining me today on Your Permission Prescription. For even more, I invite you to head on over to nancylevin.com and sign up for my newsletter, The Practice, and follow me on social media.
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See you next time.