In April 2010, I was out to dinner with Louise Hay, Cheryl Richardson, and Reid Tracy after our “Speak, Write, Promote: Become a Mover and Shaker” event in Boston. Even though at that point I had been separated from my husband for three months, I had not revealed to Louise and Reid what was going on in my marriage. They were expecting my husband to be at the event, and I knew they would wonder why he wasn’t there. The time had come for me to tell them.
Still terrified by the shame and guilt of failure, I took a deep breath, and revealed myself. I told them all about my husband reading my journals, all about my affair, everything.
I ended my confession with, “Louise, I’m not perfect.”
With her hands on my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes, Louise brought me in very close and said, “Darling…did you really think I thought you were the only person who was?”
And you know what? I did.
I know it sounds irrational and that if had stopped to really think about it I would’ve realized it was what I expected of myself that was unrealistic. But, I was operating on automatic pilot, attached to the belief that I could somehow do it all without anyone ever seeing me sweat.
Somewhere deep in my psyche was the belief that if they saw a weakness in me, everything would fall apart.
So I never asked for help. To me, asking for help would mean I wasn’t enough. That I was a failure, imperfect. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The moment I felt Louise accept me—all of me—I started thinking of her as my personal affirmation action figure. She saw me in a way that I had never been willing to see myself—as a human being with both strengths and weaknesses. She inspired me to embark on a path of self-discovery and self-love, and she gave me the courage to be transparent.
I wasn’t perfect. I needed help. And that was okay.
I’m grateful to say that over the years Louise has been by my side when I needed her the most – supporting me in every way from holding my hand at the salon when I cut all my hair off, to helping me release my grip on the proverbial branch I was clinging to before I could jump out of my marriage and into my life, to modeling for me the importance of having fun!
It’s a great honor to have my dear friend Louise with me on my Hay House Radio show this week. We’ll dive into the many themes of our relationship: asking for help, saying a courageous “yes” to Life, identity shifts, and the deep joy of play!
And now back to you! Take a moment here to imagine what would be possible for you if you simply ask for help? I want to know! Join the conversation with me on Facebook.