Although I’m an early riser and definitely a morning person, I’ve never been a roll-out-of-bed-and-go kinda girl. I like to take my time…to meditate, then ritualistically have my coffee, write in my journal and look out the window. Even if I have an early flight or am on the road with an early call-time, I get up at least 2 hours before I need to leave. This isn’t for primping and prepping, but rather to ensure I have ample time to be with myself, before engaging with the world.
I block this time out – in my already very color-coded calendar – in yellow for ME. In direct response to an overwhelming time in my life of overbooking myself into a corner with no time to eat or pee or get outside – I’ve been scheduling absolutely everything! My daily meditation, journal-writing, hikes…even grocery shopping! I’ve noticed that by claiming space in my calendar for my non-negotiables, I easily and effortlessly keep these commitments to myself, just like I would if they were appointments with clients.
With this practice, I’ve also been able to create a calendar – and a life – with much more time for myself than I ever could have imagined. Gone are the days of everything being back-to-back-to-back! Instead I have all the time I need for a fulfilling workday, complete with contemplation, fitness, food…and bathroom breaks!
Knowing your own non-negotiables leads to a resentment-free life of liberation and love.
Make a list of five or more non-negotiables—behaviors that you won’t tolerate or that you must have in yourself to feel satisfied by your relationship. Here are some examples from my clients:
“I must have the time and space for myself that I desire.”
“I must go to sleep and wake up on a schedule that suits me.”
“I will not tolerate any more rescuing of others; I can’t save anyone. I’ll simply support them in a way that doesn’t compromise my own happiness as they solve their own problems.”
How would your life change if you made a commitment to your own non-negotiables instead of other people’s priorities?
