Nancy Levin: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the Nancy Levin Show. I’m so happy that you’re here with me today, and this episode will touch a nerve for so many midlife women. So if you have ever said the words, “I’m fine” while feeling anything, but this episode is for you. Join me today as we dive into the hidden dangers of living a life that looks successful on the outside, but feels empty and unfulfilling on the inside.
Nancy Levin: For midlife women who’ve done everything right and yet feel stuck and deeply unhappy, we are going to explore how the phrase, “I’m fine” becomes a prison with invisible bars and will uncover the root causes of why you’ve landed here. And most importantly [00:01:00] importantly, I’m going to share the first step to breaking free and creating a life filled with purpose and freedom and fulfillment.
Nancy Levin: So I wanna share a story with you. That might sound familiar. A client of mine, we’ll call her, Lisa came to me in her early fifties and on paper she had it all. A 25 year marriage, two grown kids thriving in college, a career she’d built from scratch, a beautiful home. And yet when we met on Zoom, she took a breath and her eyes welled with tears.
Nancy Levin: And she said, I don’t even know who I am anymore. And then she caught herself and whispered the line as if she’d rehearsed it her entire life, but I’m fine. And that phrase [00:02:00] became her armor and it was what she said at work, at dinner parties. To her closest friends, her family, her husband, but worst of all, it’s what she told herself.
Nancy Levin: So just take a moment here to see if you can relate that hollow feeling in your chest, that sense that something is missing, even though you can’t quite name what, when you say I’m fine. You’re often denying your deeper truth. It’s a way to avoid confronting unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and the fear of change.
Nancy Levin: On the outside, you may appear successful, a steady career, a comfortable salary, kids off to college, and a life that checks all the boxes. But on the inside, you’re feeling stuck and [00:03:00] restless and deeply unfulfilled. And the danger of “I’m fine” is that it numbs you to your own desire, keeps you living in auto-pilot, unable to access the passion, the joy, and the connection that you truly crave.
Nancy Levin: Over time. This disconnection from your truth can lead to burnout. Health issues like worsening menopause symptoms, insomnia, anxiety, strained relationships, and a sense that you are wasting your life. So let’s take a minute here to address the emotional toll of pretending. Living a life of “fine” creates an internal war between how you feel and the mask you wear for the world, you’re constantly suppressing your dissatisfaction, which leads to emotional [00:04:00] exhaustion, which makes knowing what you truly want or what will really make you happy, virtually impossible.
Nancy Levin: So it’s easier to keep focusing on other people. And telling yourself, this is as good as it’s going to get. But here’s the truth, saying “I’m fine” to others and even to yourself, keeps you stuck in fear and prevents you from seeking the change that you need. So let’s dig a little deeper here. You’ve done everything right, but it’s not enough.
Nancy Levin: You’ve followed the Playbook society gave you. You’ve worked hard, supported your family, and built a stable career, but no one told you that external success does not guarantee internal fulfillment. So you have spent decades climbing the ladder of success only to [00:05:00] realize it’s leaning against the wrong wall.
Nancy Levin: You’ve prioritized what others need you to be. Successful, dependable, self-sacrificing. And in the process you’ve silenced your own needs. And so now you are wondering, when is it my turn? Let’s talk about the perfectionism and people-pleasing trap. Many women in midlife find themselves stuck because they’ve spent years twisting themselves into what others expect them to be.
Nancy Levin: You say yes when you mean no. You overextend yourself at work with family and in relationships because you’re afraid of letting people down. This pattern of perfectionism and people-pleasing may have helped you succeed professionally, but it has led to disconnection from your true self, and it’s [00:06:00] why you feel so stuck now.
Nancy Levin: And then there’s the fear. The fear of change and losing what you’ve earned. You’ve worked so hard to build your life, and the idea of risking financial instability, professional reputation, or others’ approval feels terrifying. The fear of starting over or failing keeps you in a cycle of staying safe in a life that’s no longer aligned with your values or desires.
Nancy Levin: The result. You stay fine even as it becomes intolerable because the alternative feels too uncertain. So now the question becomes how do you break free from fine. The very first step is this, acknowledge that fine is no longer [00:07:00] enough. The first step in breaking free is admitting to yourself that fine isn’t where you wanna live anymore.
Nancy Levin: You don’t have to figure out your entire next chapter today, but you do need to be honest with yourself about what’s no longer working. So I invite you to take a moment here and ask yourself this question, what would it feel like to wake up excited about my life again? Take a moment here to reconnect with your own deeper desires.
Nancy Levin: You’ve spent so long meeting everyone else’s needs that you have lost touch with your own. It’s time to start listening to that inner voice that’s been whispering. There has to be more than this. You could [00:08:00] meditate or journal with the following prompt. What have I been avoiding or denying about my unhappiness or this one?
Nancy Levin: If I could do anything without fear of failure, what would I do? And then take one small step toward alignment. You don’t have to burn down your life or quit your job tomorrow to start creating change. You can simply begin by exploring what feels meaningful for you. This might mean taking a course, joining a supportive community, learning about life coaching, having a real conversation about your dreams.
Nancy Levin: The key is to take action no matter how small, because action creates clarity. Action builds momentum, and [00:09:00] momentum builds a new life. You do not need to settle for “fine”. You’re capable of experiencing so much more, and the time to start is now. We are not meant to simply endure our lives.
Nancy Levin: We are meant to enjoy them, to feel lit up, to feel purposeful, to feel alive. And yes, even in midlife, especially in midlife, it’s possible to rewrite the story. If this episode spoke to your heart, I invite you to share it with someone else who’s been living in the land of fine. Let her know she’s not alone.
Nancy Levin: Let her know that freedom is possible. And if you are ready to start the journey back to yourself, I’d be honored to walk beside you.
Stay tuned for information soon on how we can make that happen. And [00:10:00] until next time, remember, you are not here to be fine. You’re here to be free.