Nancy:
You cannot build your future by holding on to your past.
The future does not have to be perfect. It just has to be yours.
Welcome to the Nancy Levin Show. I’m Nancy Levin, founder of LevinLife Coach Academy, best selling author, master coach, and your host.
I help overachieving people pleasers set boundaries that stick and own self worth, anchored in empowered action, so you can feel free.
Plus, if you’re an aspiring or current coach, you are in the right place. Join me each week for coaching and compelling conversations designed to support you in the spotlight as you take center stage of your own life. Let’s dive in.
Nancy:
Welcome back to The Nancy Levin Show. If you’re here, it means you’re ready.
You’re ready to dig deep, you’re ready to ask the hard questions, and you’re ready to step into the life that is waiting for you. And today’s episode is for you if you are feeling like you are caught between two worlds.
The one you’ve outgrown, and the one you’re afraid to fully step into.
You might find yourself here questioning your marriage or your career, or maybe you’re realizing that the identity you’ve built around being a parent no longer defines you in the way it used to.
Wherever you are, I know how disorienting it feels when the life you once knew is no longer the life that fits.
And so today we’re diving into why we cling so hard to the past. Why it feels impossible to let go and how stepping into the unknown is actually the only way to reclaim your purpose. and build your life that truly fulfills you.
So we’re talking today about that internal tug of war between holding on to what’s familiar and stepping into the unknown of who you are meant to be.
Because here’s the truth. The past might feel safe, but the past is also what’s keeping you stuck.
So we’re going to unravel why that is and what you can do to finally move forward.
So let’s begin with the first trap we often fall into:
Romanticizing the past keeps you stuck in a life that no longer fits.
So let’s talk about the tendency we have to look at the past through rose colored glasses. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve had coaching clients tell me, I just wish I could go back to how things were.
But when we really dig into that, we start to see something really fascinating. It’s not that they want the past.
They want the feeling of safety, of certainty, of knowing their place in the world.
Maybe that sounds familiar to you because our brains are wired to cling to what’s familiar because familiarity feels safe even when what is familiar is actually making us miserable.
So when life feels uncertain, we naturally reach back for what once was, even if it no longer serves us. And it is a protective mechanism.
It’s a way to try and regain control in the face of change. But here’s what I want you to know. Clinging to the past won’t bring back the version of you that felt safe. It will only keep you stuck in a life that no longer fits.
Because the truth is, that past version of your life was not sustainable.
If it was, you wouldn’t be here now, yearning for something more. And letting go doesn’t mean that you’re erasing the good. It simply means that you’re honoring all parts of your history while making space for the life that will actually fulfill you moving forward.
So I ask you, are you longing for the actual past?
Are you longing for the comfort of something familiar, because romanticizing the past is a way to avoid the discomfort of the unknown.
All it really does is keep you trapped in a cycle of dissatisfaction. And so what if instead of clinging to an outdated version of your life, you honored it for what it was as you were making space for what’s next.
And this brings us to the second trap:
Trying to recreate what you once had. Also known as living in the rearview mirror. So, when you’re in the midst of transition, it is tempting to think that the best way forward is to recreate what you once had.
But here’s the thing, living in the rearview mirror prevents you from seeing the road ahead.
So, just for a moment here, I want you to imagine that you are driving a car. And instead of looking through your front windshield, you are driving while only looking in your rearview mirror the entire time.
What do you think is going to happen? You’re going to crash. And that’s exactly what we do when we are trying to recreate the past.
We hold on to an old relationship, or a career path that we’ve outgrown, or a way of being in the world that simply doesn’t align with who we are now.
And why? Because it feels safe. So staying tethered to what’s familiar might feel safe in the short term, but in the long term, it will lead to regret.
It will stifle your growth.
It will keep you disconnected from your potential. And it will reinforce the false belief that you are too old, or it’s too late to start over.
Because I promise you, It is never too late, and the truth is, you cannot build your future by holding on to your past. Every day you stay stuck is a day you delay the life you are meant to live.
And the future does not have to be perfect, it just has to be yours.
I’m here to tell you that rebuilding your identity requires risk. But it is where your freedom lives.
Letting go of who you were, whether it’s the wife, the mom, the career driven professional. It feels terrifying because those identities gave you a sense of purpose.
But clinging to them when they no longer fit will only keep you small. You are not starting over from scratch here. You are simply reinventing. You are rediscovering who you were always meant to be.
So this is the moment to stop asking, how did I get here? And start asking, who am I becoming?
And yes, it’s uncomfortable, and yes, it requires courage, but the life you are meant to live is waiting for you on the other side of the unknown, because the unknown is where opportunities and possibilities are born.
Now, I know this isn’t easy. I know that stepping into the unknown can feel overwhelming. And here’s the deal. You don’t have to do it alone.
If you’re feeling that pull, the one that’s telling you it’s time to let go and step into the next version of yourself, I invite you to take the next step with me.
In next week’s episode, I’ll be sharing about new ways we can connect so I can support you. I am so grateful that you chose to spend this time with me today, and until we’re together next, remember that the past may feel safe, but your future is where your freedom lies.
Thanks so much for joining me today.
I invite you to head on over to nancylevin.com to check out all the goodies I have there for you. And if you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating, and a review. I’ll meet you back here next week.