Nancy: Overachieving, perfectionism, fear of leisure, workaholism, and the need to fill every moment to avoid feeling or dealing with what’s really happening. I’ve been there. Trust me.
Nancy: Welcome to the Nancy Levin Show. I’m Nancy Levin, founder of Levin Life Coach Academy, bestselling author, Master coach and your host.
I help overachieving people-pleasers set boundaries that stick and own self-worth anchored in empowered action so you can feel free. Plus, if you’re an aspiring or current coach, you are in the right place. Join me each week for coaching and compelling conversations designed to support you in the spotlight as you take center stage of your own life.
Let’s dive in.
Nancy: Welcome back to the Nancy Levin show. I’m very happy you’re here. I’m often asked about my morning routine. I’ll share that my morning routine begins with my evening routine, which is putting my phone into airplane mode—sleep mode with no Wi-Fi—so that when I wake up in the morning, there are no messages waiting for me, no notifications to distract me, and I immediately go to meditate and journal.
It was not always this way. Everything changed when I went to Thailand nine years ago. In November 2015, I spent 10 days at a silent meditation retreat at a monastery. It was one of those moments in time that was a complete game changer and life changer, and there is a delineation of before and after. I wrote two articles about my experience for Best Self magazine, and I’m going to share the first one today with you here, and then I’ll share the second part in a couple of weeks.
So, remember that this was 2015 me. This was nine years ago, and I guess I had just turned 50, and I had a lot to say. I had a lot to share. So, here goes. Meditation retreat, transformation in Thailand, part one, an adventure of meditation, solitude, and consciousness.
I’m ten days into being home alone. I’ve been damn near hermetic, actually, going out only for hikes and groceries, engaging with clients, friends, and family over the phone, and seeing no one—my definition of heaven. I’ve relished having every moment to myself. To spend working, writing, binge-watching, and even cooking. Only four more days left until I go hit the road for a few days with my family to New York City, where I also have a few gigs, including my longest keynote speech ever at Hay House’s “I Can Do It” conference.
And then a long-ass overseas flight to meet up with my man in Chiang Mai, Thailand. That last part about Thailand is something I never expected to come out of my mouth. But wait, there’s more. Not only will I be there for three weeks, but just three days after I arrive, we are off to Wat Rompong to the Northern Insight Meditation Center for a 10 day silent Vipassana meditation retreat.
Oh yes, you heard that right. I’m going to spend 10 days in a monastery, sleeping in a room of my own, waking before 4 a.m. to practice sitting and walking meditation until retiring at 10 p.m. If I squint my eyes and strain my ears, it looks and sounds a lot like my current home alone time—except for the binge-watching, of course, and the talking.
And someone will be cooking for me, although there are only two meals offered each day. The first at 6 a.m. and the next at 10:30 a.m. I honestly don’t even know what to think about that. A few weeks ago, I noticed that if I started to allow myself to fully grasp the details of this adventure, I found myself in deep resistance and fear.
Do I even need to tell you how far out of my comfort zone I’m going for my honey?
It’s no big deal. He’s been living in Aspen for 20 plus years and is the culture in resort towns. He works seasonally. So he hits it hard there in the winter and summer. And then he gets out into the world for a couple of months at a time in the spring and fall over the years. He’s traveled extensively in India, Nepal, and Indonesia and has done several 10-day, silent Vipassana meditation retreats. Plus, even a 35-day retreat at the very monastery we’re going to in Chiang Mai.
But this past spring, we did spend six weeks living in Moab, Utah, which was a start. Thankfully, my work is mobile, which makes it possible for me to be anywhere. Even Thailand.
But not since I was 25, and that was 25 years ago, have I traveled for any length of time without it being for work. And the voice that still arises, even after all the acknowledgement and integration of it, is thankfully quite faint now. But I can still hear it say, who are you to take three weeks away? What will your clients think—you’re committing career suicide?
And I reply: I’m not abandoning anyone, especially not myself. I’m adding to my own experience and nurturing my relationship, which can only enhance my life, love, and work. And, of course, I’ve calculated how to still do my radio show and coaching group calls while I’m away.
To tell you the truth, I’ve been doing deep work around this with my coach and my therapist, and I know that the more I continue to immerse myself in fully experiencing and inhabiting my own life, the better service I will be to others who are overcoming, overachieving, perfectionism, fear of leisure, workaholism, and the need to fill every moment to avoid feeling or dealing with what’s really happening.
I’ve been there. Trust me, that kind of compartmentalization and the glorification of staying busy are a few of the elements that allowed me to stay in my past marriage for far too long. And now the gift here for me is that the part of me who just wants it to be all over so I can be back home with my creature comforts is receiving permission and being reminded daily and lovingly by the other parts of me who long to evolve and stay present with what is to drink it all in and not miss a moment and I am able to acknowledge myself for everything I’ve done for this life I’ve created, which makes a trip like this possible.
As I fly, I embrace this unrecognizable self I’ve become.
Someone who can do this while willing to dive into the unknown, trusting that no matter how I emerge, this experience can only be a game changer. Pointing me toward positivity, empowerment, embodiment, expansion, and toward being a beacon for others.
I promise to let you know how it all goes. Look for me on the other side with part two in a couple of weeks.
Nancy: Hi, it’s Nancy interrupting my own show. I’ve got a lot of exciting things coming up in 2024, including a brand-new book plus a group coaching opportunity unlike anything else I have ever offered before. To make sure you are in the know, pop on over to my website now and sign up for my free weekly newsletter at nancylevin.com/newsletter so you don’t miss a thing.
Okay. Back to the show.
Nancy: As I read this, I have such compassion for that version of myself. So afraid to leave the known for the unknown. So afraid to really step into irresponsibility. So afraid that if she wasn’t completely available to everyone else all the time, she wouldn’t know who she was thinking back and looking back on that time.
I can picture myself clearly. Not only was I afraid to take three weeks away, I was also afraid to do it without making arrangements to do the things that I needed to do. And I say that from the perspective of, did I really need to do them?
Like I mentioned in the article, did I really need to do my radio show?
Did I really need to even do the group coaching sessions?
Now I know I can give myself a break. I can get someone to sub for me. I can create space between episodes, have a rerun if I need to, or record more ahead of time to give myself the full experience of space in whatever I’m doing.
There’s a part of this article that I’m thinking about right now when I said the gift here for me is that the part of me who just wants it to be all over so I can be back home with my creature comforts is receiving permission and being reminded. I know I have rushed my way through experiences over time, whether they be experiences of fun and play and pleasure or experiences of evolution and growth.
I’ve rushed my way through the experience to just be on the other side of it, to have had the experience, and what happens is that I miss the moment. I know that. I’ve gone out, whether hiking, camping, or mountain bike rides, and I’ve just wanted to get back home to my computer, where I feel safe.
So, I rushed through the experience and didn’t let myself soak in the joy—I simply wanted to get back to safety.
And so I’m just sharing this today with you because I know that I’m not alone. I know that I’m not the only one who has experienced things like this. And so, I thought I’d just share what this experience was like for me and a little bit of how I’ve changed.
I hope you’ll join me in two weeks for the conclusion.
Nancy: Thanks so much for being here and for joining me today. I invite you to head on over to nancylevin.com to check out all the goodies I have there for you. And if you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a rating and review.
I’ll meet you back here next week.