I want to set the record straight on who my “relationship stuff” is for (and who it’s NOT for).
See, I’ve been getting email replies and posts from my peeps and they all start out with “Nancy, I really love your work but…”
…but I just had a bad break-up/divorce and I don’t think I ever want to be in a relationship again
…but I’m in a relationship but my partner isn’t willing to do this work
…but I don’t even think it’s even possible to be in a relationship that isn’t about putting my partner’s needs first
Let’s talk about these “buts” (that sounds funny, you know what I mean).
The relationship I most want you to put your attention on is the one you have with YOU!
I want to work with you and turn the energy around so you’re able to focus on you.
So, it doesn’t matter if you’re newly divorced (or thinking about it), in a relationship (or feeling allergic to relationships) or single.
The work you do with me on YOU will change ALL of your relationships: in business, with friends, with family, and yes, of course your romantic ones as well.
So, I invite you to TRUST that you CAN do love differently and without doing it again.
You CAN have a relationship that’s loving and healing after the one that fell apart or broke your heart.
Because relationship is where we learn to love ourselves.
Relationship isn’t meant to save you…it’s meant to grow you. The new way of looking at your relationship is about flipping what you previously accepted so that you can be in love and relationship but bring YOURSELF and make yourself a priority.
Ok, so let’s take a look at the 3 ways to “do love” differently.
- Stay anchored to who you are and what you want and know your non- negotiables—in other words be selfish! And before you object—I want you to imagine selfish, self-care and self-love are all sisters and that having healthy selfishness will support you in not losing yourself.
- Cozying up to conflict while still staying connected in relationship. By avoiding conflict, you actually create more conflict. Avoiding conflict is your inability to stand in your own truth. You abandon yourself and repress and suppress. And you CAN stay connected by having “connection” be the ultimate outcome of conflict…not being right or changing the other person’s mind.
- Have healthy boundaries and honest communication. This is where you get to state very clearly and directly what is important to you! Speaking up for what you want and what you won’t tolerate. Setting your boundaries is simply laying out the map of here’s what’s ok, here’s what’s not ok, here’s what I’ll tolerate, here’s what I won’t, here’s what I can accept, here’s what I won’t. It’s not about the other person—it’s about being able to state clearly what YOU need.
This is just a taste of what’s possible when you do things differently!
I know this isn’t all easy and I’m really only just scratching the surface here. This is something I go deep into in The New Relationship Blueprint Coaching Program that will be opening for enrollment soon!
In the meantime, you can catch the replay of last week’s Mini-Class + Live Coaching Session for a limited time — click here and learn how to:
- Fall deeply in love without losing yourself
- Cozy up to conflict and still stay connected
- Have healthy boundaries and honest communication
Remember, the relationship I most want you to put your attention on is the one you have with YOU!