Nancy: The truth is that, you are the only thinker in your head and you are the only expert on you. In the process of recognizing the truth of this, I also acknowledged that I knew inside of me everything I needed to know. Everything I needed to know and do was inside of me. I just needed the support of an experienced guide to help me explore what I’d been hiding and hiding from, so I could discover who I really was, who I really am.
Hi, and welcome to Your Permission Prescription. The podcast that teaches you how to confidently say “yes” to you and consciously create the life you desire. I’m Nancy Levin, best-selling author, master life coach, and founder of Levin Life Coach Academy. But it wasn’t too long ago that I was a burnt-out people-pleaser.
Living my life for everyone around me and ignoring my own needs.
Fast forward to today, and I’ve successfully coached thousands of recovering people-pleasers to set boundaries with themselves, and the people around them, so they can live a more fulfilling life on their own terms. I created Your Permission Prescription to help you do the same.
Be sure to tune in for actionable coaching methods, from me.
Interviews with other incredible coaches, speakers and authors, plus one-on-one live coaching calls and so much more. If you’re ready to start saying yes to you, then you’re in the right place.
Welcome back to another episode of Your Permission Prescription. I am delighted that you’re here with me today as I share a potent and impactful piece of wisdom from my dear friend and mentor, Louise Hay.
Louise used to remind me that I’m the only thinker inside my head. Just let that sink in for a moment. You are the only thinker inside your head.
She reminded me of this each time I didn’t trust myself. And back then I didn’t trust what I thought, so I turned to others in hopes that by them sharing what they thought or what they would do, I would then discover my own thoughts and my own what to do.
Truthfully, I was so out of sync with myself. I was really consumed with presenting an image of perfection that I had no idea what I thought. I was hiding and just wanted someone else to tell me what to think, do or say.
And as I was in the midst of going through my difficult divorce, you are the only thinker inside your head seemed impossible to me. I can remember receiving a text or a voicemail or an email from my then husband and immediately going into the mode of forwarding it to other people to help me because I didn’t trust myself.
Now, part of this was a natural evolution of the role I held in my marriage. My ex-husband used to insert his name into the phrase, “this is not a democracy”, this is a “his-name-ocracy”- meaning he was the boss. He was in charge. And I being the good little people-pleaser, the good little peacekeeper, the good little conflict-avoider went along with it. And so as controlling as he was, I allowed myself to be controlled to the point of really ultimately feeling like I didn’t know what was going on in my own head. He had convinced me that I did not know.
And when I was getting divorced, my therapist at the time said, you are being extracted from Patty Hearst level brainwashing. And I remember thinking that sounded very extreme, but it also felt true. And my excessive need to find myself in the empty space that others made had been consuming me.
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So not only did I have no boundaries, it’s almost as if I only knew I existed because of the outline other people made around me. I only knew where I was based on that empty space made by others. And part of what was happening is that I was merely a reflection of others around me. I was so consumed with being perfect, with being good, with being liked, that I was a chameleon, and I did whatever any situation needed in the moment. And I looked to others to tell me what I should think.
And as much help and support and guidance and advice we seek and receive, the truth is that, you are the only thinker in your head and you are the only expert on you. In the process of recognizing the truth of this, I also acknowledged that I knew inside of me everything I needed to know. Everything I needed to know and do was inside of me. I just needed the support of an experienced guide to help me explore what I’d been hiding and hiding from, so I could discover who I really was, who I really am. And ultimately, my own internal journey led me to become a coach.
Coaching is a process of guidance to the truth within and then taking action on that truth. I learned the very valuable lesson that I didn’t need anything beyond what resided inside of me in order to be able to move through my challenges. I just needed a guide along the path to hold me in my process.
And along the way, I stopped looking outside of myself for my own answers. I stopped looking for the almighty external validation of endless gold stars. I stopped prioritizing other people’s thoughts above my own. The voice of my inner critic was silenced, and the voice of my inner champion became amplified. And ultimately, what I learned is and what I wish for you, I learned to trust myself and to love myself, and to honestly believe that I am the only thinker inside my head.
Thanks so much for listening to today’s episode. If you loved what you heard, I’d be so grateful if you’d leave a review and share your experience. Even better follow this podcast so you never miss a new episode. And if you’d like some extra support or guidance, head over to my Transform Together Facebook group for an engaged community.
Where you can speak your truth, receive inspiration and ask for
help as you navigate life’s journey, or visit my website, Nancylevin.com, where you can find resources to help guide your path to reclaiming what’s truly important to you. Thanks again for joining me.