Rodric: I do all of this because I love people and I love entrepreneurs, and I don’t want other people, specifically entrepreneurs and solopreneurs to go through the same pain I did. Because if you’ve watched the five phases and you know where people end up, and you can take the quiz if you want, but (million dollarflipflop.com/quiz), the anxious philosopher that we talk about, that was me. You know, I, I had all the things and I knew I needed to make a change and I had nobody to ask and I was alone. Because nobody wants to hear about how you’re making $300,000 a year and flying all over the world, and well poor you. You know, they want the things that you have, but it’s, it’s very much your reality. And that’s who I’m here to serve. That’s why I do what I do.
Nancy: Welcome to the Nancy Levin Show. I’m Nancy Levin, Founder of Levin Life Coach Academy, best-selling author, master coach, and your host. I help overachieving people pleasers set boundaries that stick and own self-worth, anchored in empowered action, so you can feel free. Plus, if you’re an aspiring or current coach, you are in the right place. Join me each week for coaching and compelling conversations designed to support you in the spotlight, as you take center stage of your own life. Let’s dive in.
Rodric: So just so people who are tuning in know Nancy and I
Nancy: Yes.
Rodric: Are doing a joint podcast. So for the first 20, 30 minutes, I’m gonna interview her.
Nancy: Woo.
Rodric: And for the last 20 or 30 she’s gonna interview me.
Nancy: I love it. So fun.
Rodric: So, 60 Seconds, folks have absolutely no idea who you are. Gimme the rundown.
Nancy: Great. I am a multi bestselling author. I am a podcast host, as we all know. I am a coach and I’m also the founder and lead trainer of Levin Life Coach Academy, which is the school I founded to train coaches in a transformational coaching method that I have devised. That is a proven process.
Rodric: Hmm, I love that. I love that. So I wanna ask you about that because you know, I, I’ve got the waves method, I’ve got the things that kinda work, work for me and my ilk. Why did you decide to do your own thing, ’cause I love that, versus you’re just gonna join CTI or you’re gonna join Brown where I went, or, you know, just go help others in a different thing. Why your own thing?
Nancy: I did my coach training with my mentor and teacher Debbie Ford, and this was in 2010. And at that time I did think I was going to go into business with her, and she most unfortunately passed in 2013. And over those years, people were coming to me for coaching, one-on-one, and an enormous number of coaches were coming to me for coaching. And the number one thing I heard was, I’m already a coach, but I don’t know how to get a client and I wouldn’t even know what to do with a client if I got one. And this was really mind blowing to me.
So it became clear that I needed to create something to fill a gap, because what I kept seeing is, you know, all the like International Coach Federation, all these places that are like sort of buzzwords that people hear, I couldn’t recommend them. So I had nowhere to send people and I really wanted to help people get off the ground. And what so many people don’t realize is that there is no governing organization for coaches. Coaching is a very unregulated industry. So there are coach training certification programs where it’s like, come be with me for five minutes and you’re a coach.
Rodric: $79 bucks and you can change people’s lives.
Nancy: Yeah. And I was like, this is bullshit. So I knew I wanted to create a really tight curriculum and give people the experience of being coached as well as how to coach. With sprinkled in the mix coaching skills and also bringing in coaching models that I had created. So every one of my books has a companion coaching model, and I have tested them, I have tried them. They are, they’re proven, they are true. And what really works about them is that there is a trajectory for the client, which is where most coaches I’ve noticed seem to get stuck. Is that they just come into a session and they’re chit chatting and they’re just shooting the breeze and treating it kind of like, you know, a friendly conversation. And there really isn’t a deep commitment on the client’s part for evolution. There isn’t accountability from the coach holding the client to action.
So the way that all of my coaching models are set up is, you know, there’s absolutely action that needs to be taken between sessions. There is accountability, there is commitment, and there is a concept, if you will, a theme, for each session that goes in a sequential way. And ultimately, yes, we’re guiding the clients through a process, but we’re guiding the client to their own answers and their own inner wisdom as always.
Rodric: Yeah. I completely resonate with all of that. And that was one of my biggest problems with, and Brown was a great program, don’t get me wrong, everything Hutchinson and them have done has been phenomenal. And I use those skills all the time. I’ve mentored business owners for 20 years so, but it made me better not just as a business coach, but as a partner to Nicole and as a friend. And you know, all of those skills that you learn professionally as a coach. But when you said, you know, “stuck” that word, because I hear so many young, we’ll call ’em young coaches, I help people get unstuck. Right. What is, how’s that mean and how, how do I know when I’ve got there and, and what’s the, and that’s not what they wanted you to do at all. It was very much, you know, I gotta put on my consultant hat now,
Nancy: right.
Rodric: So, and I’m curious if you feel the same way, but my thought was, if, if I know the answer to something, I mean, I’ve been in business a long time. I’ve, I’ve done a lot of things, I know the answer and I don’t give it to you. I’m doing you a disservice versus giving you this roundabout way of asking the questions that get you to that. And that’s where I put that hat on and say, in my experience, this is what I’ve done, tool for the toolbox. You know? Do you agree with that or disagree?
Nancy: Well, I will say that I’m gonna kind of give an answer out of both sides of my mouth.
Rodric: I’m here for it, fire away.
Nancy: So when I am coaching and when I am training coaches and certifying them, I am a purist. So I’m a purist around coaching is not advice giving.
Rodric: Coach versus consultant.
Nancy: Right. Coaching is guiding the client to their own inner answers. So this is not about my agenda, this is not about what I know or think you need. This is me following you on the map of your vision and guiding you along.
Rodric: But…
Nancy: And…
Rodric: Oh no, she got me with an, and.
Nancy: I’m going and. And there are certainly times that after I have invited the client to bring their answers forth, that I might present another perspective. I will say I don’t really slip into the full blown consultant hat of, let me tell you all the things you need to do unless I’m properly training, it’s a proper training session versus a coaching session. And I’m specifically pointing things out.
Rodric: Hmm. Yeah. I love that distinction.
Nancy: Yeah. So as a coach, I would say I’m a purist.
Rodric: And I think what they did was right in the training, right? Where when I’m going through IMS and individual mentor feedback, et cetera, that you have to learn that because you have to unlearn all of our evolution to just listen to response.
Nancy: Right. And, you know, so much of my work is really rooted in telling yourself the truth, self-worth, boundaries, really taking the deep dive in, looking at the parts of yourself that you don’t wanna look at, that you don’t want to even be. So there is sort of like a built in investment in your own excavation, in your own investigation of yourself. And that’s what I love. I love witnessing people come into the awareness. It’s like the Dorothy moment, you know, I’ve had the power all along.
Rodric: A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Yeah. Watching those light bulbs go off is, yeah. It’s hard to describe to people who aren’t on the other end of that.
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodric: Yeah. How fulfilling it’s, you know.
Nancy: Yes. Yes.
Rodric: So you do a lot of work with shadow work.
Nancy: I Do.
Rodric: And I wanna know, here’s how I’m gonna posit this.
Nancy: Okay.
Rodric: Entrepreneurs and, I feel that this, the tide is changing a bit, but they would consider that to be quote “woo woo” and wouldn’t understand how that would help their business. And when I, a lot of entrepreneurs, that’s not my people, you know, that’s not typically the person that comes through my door just ’cause of the things I say, but the person who’s just all about metrics and finding the constraints and how am I growing this thing? How can shadow work help that person?
Nancy: I personally think that if we’re not willing to know and embrace all parts of ourself then we are not operating at our optimum capacity.
So the way I look at our shadow is the parts of us that we either don’t want to be or don’t think we are. So the shadow itself has light and dark. And I often use the analogy of the moon because there’s such a lexicon in our world about, you know, being broken in some way or needing fixing, or you complete me, or, you know, all of that. And I’m really an advocate for recognizing our own wholeness. And the way I look at it is, even if we see a crescent moon in the sky, the moon is whole.
Rodric: I love that.
Nancy: It is. I mean, it is waxing and waning, it is revealing and concealing parts of itself at any given moment. But fundamentally, the moon is always whole. Whether we see it full or we see it in a crescent. We are the same. We are always whole. We are concealing and revealing, in each moment. So the parts of ourselves that we conceal, and I do believe that we all think we have parts of ourselves we need to hide in order to be loved and accepted. And then in the next breath, we’re also saying, I just wanna be loved for who I am. And we can’t be loved for who we are unless we’re gonna reveal who we are.
So we are concealing the parts of ourselves that we have either been taught or we have decided are bad or wrong. And we essentially suppress, repress these parts of ourselves. To the point where we emphatically would say, I’m not that, I’m not mean, I’m not needy, I’m not lazy, I’m not irresponsible. Whatever those qualities are that you emphatically believe you’re not. But you can point a finger at all the people around you and they’re, they are that
Rodric: Our judgments are the mirror. Right?
Nancy: Right. Exactly. So as the old saying goes, you know, there’s no one else out there. It’s just you looking in a mirror or you know, one finger pointing outward, three fingers pointing back at you. And so anything we see in someone else exists within us. And as we reclaim these lost pieces of ourselves, we are reclaiming our wholeness. So if I can embrace lazy and really experience the gift of lazy instead of making it wrong or bad, You know, lazy for me means I get to restore and recharge and rest. And it might look entirely different than your lazy.
And the more I can pull these pieces back in and own them and integrate them and accept them, the more I am returning to the whole state, you know?
Rodric: Yeah.
Nancy: The same happens with the qualities that we don’t think we are, that we see in others that we admire. So I can see someone else and think, oh, they’re so generous, or they’re so creative, or they’re so brilliant, whatever it might be, courageous, you know? And the truth is, if I see it in them, it’s in me too. I’ve just put that off thinking, oh, I’m not that. So how do I then reclaim my courage or reclaim my own brilliance? Reclaim my own generosity? All of the, you know, it’s sort of, I just look at it like we’re just, you know, pulling these parts of ourselves back in. And the beauty of it is once I’ve reclaimed these pieces, they don’t have a charge anymore.
So,especially with the quote unquote negative, you know, and I really believe that the qualities are essentially charge neutral. We apply the negative or positive. So the qualities that we look at as “negative”, if we are likely triggered by others in the world for that quality, it is the invitation to look at, oh, how do I present this quality? What is this quality in me? And then I can own it and integrate it. I am lazy. Doesn’t mean I’m lazy 24/7. I’m lazy and energetic. I’m all of the things, but what it does, I kind of think about it as those outlets when you have a baby and you put the little outlet plug thing in so that the baby can’t put their finger in the outlet. So I kind of think like we’re just covered in outlets, and each time I reclaim a quality that I’m triggered by in someone else, I’m just putting one of those in. So there’s no longer like an open port for that, for that charge.
Rodric: Hmm. I love that analogy.
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodric: I pulled up, I was having this shadow work conversation with Nicole earlier, and I, I pulled up.. Are you a Billy Joel fan?
Nancy: Oh, yes.
Rodric: So just saw Billy Joel and Stevie Nicks, by the way, in Columbus.
Nancy: Woo.
Rodric: Unbelievable.
Nancy: Cool. So cool.
Rodric: I pulled up the lyrics to the stranger and because it’s immediately what I thought of, and I’m just gonna read the first part, but it’s, you know, we all have a face that we hide away forever, and we take them out and show ourselves when everyone is gone.
Nancy: Absolutely.
Rodric: And I was just like, Billy does it again.
Nancy: It is, it’s the shadow. It’s a hundred percent the shadow. And so all of that to say that as an entrepreneur, why wouldn’t I wanna be optimizing myself? Why wouldn’t I wanna be operating in the world at my highest capacity that I might tend to look at as how many hours in a day I put in, or how much, you know, how many to-dos did I check off today? But I really look at it more as like, how fully did I bring myself to my work and knowing myself more deeply, how does that impact and inform the work I do?
Rodric: Yeah. And I, you know, that for me goes back to that. You can’t tell someone they need that. They have to have that urge, they have to have that inkling. And, you know, I coached baseball for a decade plus in Charlotte, and even though I don’t have any kids of my own, and I would tell the kids every season when we would start, you know, who you become is what you get to keep. You know, when you show up a hundred percent at every practice, and you show up a hundred percent at every game, it doesn’t matter if we win or lose, there’s too many variables to determine. You can be the best team in the world. Sometimes you’re just unlucky. But if you give it your all, every time you will become a better young man, you will become a better ball player and most times we’re gonna win. And the key is only you can answer that question, right?
Nancy: Right. Part of where I think people tend to get stuck, just to bring that word back in,
is more about lack of clarity. And so many people I notice and listen I’m not taking myself out of the equation because the biggest change in my life was a crisis that I did not initiate. I mean, I did, but…
Rodric: I mean I did…
Nancy: lemme say it another way. I mean, I did, but not in the way that, not in the way I thought it was gonna play out. So, so many of us wait for a crisis to make a change. And part of all of this conversation of the wood at the shadow work can support an entrepreneur is also recognizing, I can initiate change, and change can be a catalyst for opportunity instead of waiting for a crisis and being in a circumstance where I have less. I don’t even wanna use the word control, but I, I have, I have less solid footing. But if we initiate a change of our own devices, we then really can leverage the change to be a catalyst to what’s next.
Rodric: So I’m Joe or Sally, entrepreneur, and I’m listening to this, driving to my car in my next appointment. I’ve never heard of this stuff before.
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodric: What would be clues or symptoms that I am ready for working on these things?
Nancy: I love this question. I think the first thing you would notice is, you know, what is the persona you put out into the world? Meaning how, how do you give people the lens you want to be seen through? How are you trying to manage the perception of others?
You know, for a very long time, decades of my life, I was so intent upon wanting to be seen as perfect and in the perfect marriage. And that is the only window into me that I gave people. So that’s definitely one piece, you know, where are, back to Billy Joel, you know, what is, what is the face you show yourself when you’re alone versus the he face that you show out to the world? I would also go into what are the, the, what are the secrets you are keeping? What are the withholds? Now, I don’t necessarily mean, you know, like the skeletons in the closet, but really what are the parts of you that you are convinced if they knew this, they wouldn’t love me. If they knew this, they wouldn’t be my friend. They certainly wouldn’t pay me money and work with me. What are those pieces of you that you expend extraordinary energy, not only hiding and suppressing, but overcompensating for. So that can also be a clue.
Mr. Nice guy all the time, never blows his temper, never blows a fuse, always sweet, always kind. I will tell you, there is some shadow anger lurking below the surface that he is doing everything in his power to not let out of the bag.
Rodric: Question. So I, I think about that. Let’s talk about Mr. Nice guy for a second. And he has people around him, maybe his partner, maybe close friends, that they see that anger, that fuse blow every so often. And I think this could be extraordinarily helpful to people listening is
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodric: How do you approach that person? Or is it not possible? Hey, buddy, you got some work to do, is not the answer you want to give.
Nancy: No.
Rodric: What would you recommend?
Nancy: It depends on if the person, so I, I will talk about this in terms of like reasonable people. So what I’m talking about is people who are, you know, not narcissists, not abusers. You know, people who are, you know, just, we’re just doing our best in the world to, you know, to do our thing. There are ways to have reasonable conversations. Where I start with “I”.. I notice that I get scared when you yell and I’m wondering if you’re willing for us to collaborate on a way to have this environment feel more safe for me.
So I didn’t say, I didn’t point a finger at you, let me say it that way. And I’m not saying, you know, don’t yell either. I’m expressing my experience and the impact on me and what I’m desiring. So that’s easy, easy, you know, with a reasonable human to have this kind of a conversation. And it could be making a request, you know, are you willing to go to therapy? Are you willing to go to kickboxing? Are you willing to explore this?
It can also be, I notice that I get scared when you yell. And so I can take care of myself, if we’re in a conversation that escalates, I’m gonna let you know that I’m gonna go out for a walk around the block and I’ll let you know when I’m gonna come back for us to finish the conversation. So the more we can keep it on ourselves, the better.
Rodric: I’ve got one last question for you. At what point do you, whether it’s a partner or a friend or business associate, it could be anyone, at what point do you give up as a strong word, but where do you draw the line in protecting yourself and your energy or your person, if it’s violent or it’s physical versus being there and helping this person?
Nancy: It’s a great question because this is, I mean, this is at the heart of really addiction and boundaries and enabling. And as someone who did enable an abuser and someone who is addicted, what’s fascinating about the construct is that that type of person will always draw in the people pleaser, the peacekeeper, the conflict avoider. You know, it’s a natural connection. And this is when this kind of work is not only great, but necessary and essential. Because we have to get to a place where, I had to get to a place where I was, it was more important to me to take care of myself than to care, take someone else, to keep them in their addiction and abuse, to enable them. I had to actually choose myself. And again, this comes all the way back to boundaries, which are essential here in this conversation, because it really is about what are my limits around what I will or will not do, will or will not accept and will or will not tolerate? And how long have I been accepting the unacceptable? How long have I been tolerating the intolerable? And the big question is, how many of my own personal boundaries have I crossed in order to stay in this relationship? And that’s the kicker.
Rodric: And different for everybody.
Nancy: Yeah. But you know, I, when people come to me and they’re coming in with the question basically of like, should I stay or should I go? And I said, you know, that’s not the question. The question is, can you actually express the fullness of who you are if you stay or if you go. That’s really the question.
Rodric: Yeah. Wow. So I think that’s a good place to leave it.
Nancy: Yes.
Rodric: How can people find you?
Nancy: My website, nancylevin.com and all the goodies are there, all my social links, my podcast, all the things.
Rodric: Amazing. Thank you so much for coming on our joint show. Thank you. At least on my end. They’re gonna roll midroll right now,
Nancy: And now we’re just gonna, we’re just gonna flip the table.
Nancy: And then we’ll just flip the table and we rock and roll. I love this!
Nancy: In conversations with coaching clients and students. I keep hearing the same thing, “I just wanna feel in control again, take a deep breath and enjoy my life, but everything feels so out of whack”. If this sounds like you join me for my free live virtual workshop, From Chaos to Confidence: Tune in, Take control and Live Your Truth so you can quiet the noise and get back on track. Visit nancy levin.com/workshop to save your free seat now, and I will see you very soon.
Nancy: Hi Rodric.
Rodric: Hi Nancy. So great to be here with you. It’s so unexpected.
Nancy: I’m so happy. Okay, who are you? What got you here? All the things.
Rodric: The easiest way to describe me is a lifelong entrepreneur. I made the mistake of taking a job when I was 24, 25 years old. It literally almost killed me. I was anxious and depressed and worse and it was at a time where I could buy anything I want, do anything I want. I had all of the things, I had all the signs, and I call it right map, wrong mountain. I did all, I followed the map. Everybody told me to follow, my dad told me to follow, and I got there, quote unquote, and I was fucking miserable. And we can bleep that out.
Nancy: No, we don’t have to.
Rodric: I woke up every day saying, is this all there is? And that’s why ultimately I sold my last business last year, and I do all of this because I love people and I love entrepreneurs and I don’t want other people, specifically entrepreneurs and solopreneurs to go through the same pain I did. Because if you’ve watched the five phases and you know where people end up, and you can take the quiz if you want, but (milliondollarflipflop.com/quiz), the, the anxious philosopher that we talk about, that was me. You know, I had all the things and I knew I needed to make a change and I had nobody to ask. And I was alone. And because nobody wants to hear about how you’re making $300,000 a year and flying all over the world, and well poor you, you know, they want the things that you have, but it’s, it’s very much your reality. And that’s who I’m here to serve. That’s why I do what I do.
Nancy: I love it. So I wanna share that, you know, you and I met, I don’t know, a couple months ago, and that I saw you on stage and here you are tall, very cute, bald, and you’re talking, and I’m like, he’s channeling Wayne Dyer.
Rodric: Oh my God. Gimme chills.
Nancy: I know. And then right during the break I came up to you and I just said, I have to meet you. I have to tell you that you remind me of Wayne, and I was close with Wayne and blah, blah, blah. And then I showed you the picture of me and Wayne, and then you showed me,
Rodric: Oh, you want me to tell that story?
Nancy: I do.
Rodric: So, so Nicole, my partner Nicole, she writes these little letters to me. They look like little mini letters that you got, you got in the mail. I do. And she had hidden a bunch of them in my suit pocket for this event, because that event you might not know, was the first time I had spoken on stage in probably 10 years.
Nancy: Wow. I would never know.
Rodric: So, thank you. And so she gave me all these inspirational things and she goes, you know, pull the one outta your left pocket. And I open it up and it says, what would Wayne Dyer do?
Nancy: I love it.
Rodric: Yeah. What a, what a week or what a weekend. Right?
Nancy: I know. And then from there, I mean, I just knew we were, we were meant to be friends.
Rodric: 1000%.
Nancy: Yes.
Rodric: no coincidences.
Nancy: No coincidences. So I also loved that you gave your talk in flip flops, and as a flip-flop lover and wearer myself, I would love for you to share a bit about how the book, the brand Million Dollar Flip Flops came to be.
Rodric: It’s kind of, it’s kind of a cool story because it, like most things, they’re serendipitous. It came to mean so much more than that title. And it started, you know, after I’d sold the business, I took about six months off and we were in Thailand and I was on a beach on this little tiny island. And I’m doing some pleasure reading, which was, You Are The Brand by Mike Kim, because I don’t read fiction books.
Nancy: Me neither.
Rodric: I look over at Nicole and I’m like, we gotta give it all away. And she’s just like, has no idea what’s happening. I’ve been brewing up this business in my head for a month or better at that point. And that’s was the birth of the foundation. It was the birth of all these things. But that same day, I’m reading Mike Kim’s book and it says, look around your, I’m like, which I named this thing that I want to build, I don’t wanna call it Roderick Lenhardt, I don’t wanna call it Coach Roderick. Like I want it to be just something fun, you know?
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodric: And it was, look around your immediate vicinity and pick one thing that best describes you on flip flops. I always, I’m that guy. I am middle of winter working on the house on a roof building hot rods. I have flip flops. I give him a keynote in Austin. I have flip flops on, and if you don’t like it, I don’t care.
Nancy: Right.
Rodric: You know, so we’re probably not gonna get along anyway you have a problem with that. So I’m like, what do we name this thing? I’m like, what flip flops? You know, like, well everybody give or take once a million bucks. Everybody wants to be in flip flops. It means they’re on vacation or they’re somewhere fun, they’re somewhere relaxed. Million dollar flip flops. I’m like, that was it. That’s a everything. I love it. Everything went From there.
Nancy: I do. I love it.
Rodric: And what’s cool about it, it is, it turned into my superpower for my entrepreneurial career has been change and the ability to recognize I need to do it and take that first step. And know, this may be temporarily painful, but it’s out of alignment. Whatever I’m doing right now is out of alignment with who I am. And that’s that big lesson I learned when I was 24, 25 years old. And I, I vowed to myself never again to find myself in that place. And I built the tools and the systems around me that were a decision filter that ultimately became the Waves Method and the things that are the big pieces of the book. But that was it, is that that change, flip flopping leads to Million dollars, you know. So it
Nancy: I love that. Yeah.
Rodric: It all, it all has worked out very well for the brand and for the name.
Nancy:I really want you to share about, I wanna hear about, I mean, the Waves Method and the Five Phases in the quiz.
Rodric: Yeah.
Nancy: And however you wanna lead into that and weave, weave into that.
Rodic: So the probably easiest to start with the five phases. Yeah. And it’s, it goes from believer to business Buddha. And you can tell me if you resonate with any of this, or know if you’re listening, maybe you resonate with this or you know, anyone that resonates with this.
But the believer, I’ve got this thing, everybody’s gonna want my thing. I just need more eyeballs on it and I’ll be a billionaire in six months, living a good life. Uninformed optimism. Then there’s the showman. Some people actually do want my thing. I’ve got the SUV, I’ve got the house. I’m working 25 hours a day, eight days a week. I can’t really take a vacation, but I do make my own schedule. Now I have informed pessimism. This is a lot harder than people told me it was going to be. The, the guys in front of the Lamborghini on Instagram weren’t giving me all the bits of the story. Then you move into anxious philosopher, and this is where I found myself. And you have all the signs of Western success. You can buy what you want, do what you want, go where you want, but you wake up every day and say, is this all there is?
Nancy: Right.
Rodric: And you feel isolated. You feel alone because nobody wants to hear your first world problems. Nobody. And so you don’t know who to ask. You know, you need to make a change. You don’t know what to do. And that’s where most people will start to self-sabotage. And they will go, they’ll chase the next shiny thing and go back to the believer because clearly I went right map wrong mountain, and now I better start over because it’s gonna be different the next time. And hint, it never is.
Nancy: Right.
Rodric: And a lot of us spend our entire life in that cycle. We never break out of anxious philosopher. And, and you move into then, if you do the inner work that is required. And that’s what the Waves Method does. And we’ll talk about that when I finish. But Peaceful Warrior is I’ve done the inner work to find out who I am and why I want what I want. And it’s a selfish place to operate from. And that’s why people don’t do it. And all the decisions I’m making now point to my values. They point to my why. We build a statement of purpose in the Waves Method. You know who you want to become as a person and you build a business and bring people along that match that vision. And then Business Buddha, you’re infallible. You’re making every decision from the right place. And that’s why we were talking before we got on air about the quiz.
Nancy: Yes.
Rodric: That’s why zero people have got business budha.
Nancy: That’s right.
Rodric: As the result. It’s a, it’s a very hard place to operate from.
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodric: I would say even ol’ Wayne, you know, he touched on it, but he probably wasn’t there and he would probably tell us the same thing.
Nancy: Yep.
Rodric: So what the Waves Method is designed to do is, is the wave stands for authenticity, values exploration, and statement of purpose. And why we hear a lot about, it’s Simon Sinek. It’s your right, your passionate, why, why do you get up every day other than a paycheck? I throw people that curve ball. It can’t involve money, power, notoriety when you’re building your why, that usually throws people for a loop. Then authenticity, you’re doing this for you, not your partner, not your pastor, not your preacher, not your parents. You’re doing this for you if you answer in any other way, and we’re not taught to think that way, so it’s more difficult than you think it is to answer honestly, you’re, you’re not gonna get, you’re gonna be back on the wrong mountain if you don’t do this from a place of pure authenticity. And then we build out your values. And most of the work of the Waves Method is around your values and truly identifying what they are and ranking them. And I call ’em designated drivers. It’s called a core values road trip in the book. And you watch those things evolve over time as you e in waves explore them. And that is in the highs and lows of your life. My day is shit, I don’t wanna do this anymore. Well what values am I not honoring right now that is causing me to feel this way? And then the inverse of that, everything’s amazing. I’m happy as a clam, the clock is a distant memory. Well what values am I honoring that do that? And I was, it’s funny, I was, I just was doing a call. I’ve got a client in Denmark and I just did his values list and I do ’em live with people, right? So I have him pull up the list and he just recites to me what is standing out for him. And I get to see those patterns from call to call and see, okay, you keep repeating this one, you left this one off the list. Now that’s the same work you do if you’re going through the book or the journal or any of the things.
And then ultimately with all of those tools, you build a statement of purpose. And that’s the s and Waves. I say that, you know, your why can be very broad. It can involve your work and it can involve your faith. It can involve a lot of things. Your statement of purpose is very narrow. If you’re from the sales world, it’s your elevator pitch. It’s that two sentences that say, this is who I am, this is why I show up, this is why I do what I do. And when you start to do that work, you can’t help but move into Peaceful Warrior. It’s what drags you out of an anxious philosopher. And that’s primarily what I offer people. I have higher end stuff, which is strategic thought partner, where it’s kind of like an extra board member for your business that doesn’t require health insurance or an office. But mostly I take people on what’s called the Six Week Roadmap. And that is designed to, if you take the quiz or you listen to me speak and that resonates with you, that’s where I help people. And it’s to turn that ship around, take that deep dive over six weeks and get you pointed in the right direction. And then I do monthly follow-ups just to make sure that they’re still on track. But that’s my purpose is, is to make sure that people don’t stay in that cycle forever. ’cause I’ve watched it happen for too long. And that would have happened to me if I didn’t have people like Wayne in my life and people, you know, all the other teachers in my life.
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodric: That I turned to when I was in that place.
Nancy: Yeah. I really, I love the intersection of, you know, the five phases and the Waves method and like you talked about, you know, really it seems that you are, the people you’re drawing toward you right now are, are in that anxious philosopher place and with your support, they’re able to move to the peaceful warrior.
Rodric: Yeah. And and that’s the light bulbs we were talking about.
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodric: You know, watching those go off for people.
Nancy: And there’s something, there’s something you said that I wanna touch on. ’cause it, there’s just like a thread here too. You had said something earlier, was it, was it the Peaceful Warrior or was it the business Buddha, you said people don’t like it ’cause it’s selfish.
Rodric: It’s a selfish way to think.
Nancy: Right.
Rodric: So yeah. So to get to that place, and that’s why the a in or in Waves is so important for both your why and your values and your statement purpose. Right. Because, and I use the example of parents. If if I’m going through your values and you’re a mom or you’re a dad, you will put family invariably as one of your top values. And it doesn’t have to be.
Nancy: Right.
Rodric: You can be a great mom and a great dad and not have family be your top value. You’re doing that because it’s what you think I want to hear. It’s what you think society wants to hear. And, and that’s the best example I can give you of coming from a place of authenticity.
Nancy: Right. So in a lot of my work, you know, it’s a big part of the shadow is disowning selfishness, you know, and instead glorifying selflessness, which it’s right in the word, selfless, we disappear. And so, you know, I feel like I’m on my soapbox about reclaiming selfishness that really, we need to learn how to put attention on ourselves instead of having all of our antennae going outward. You know, instead of what do they think? What do they need, what do they want, what do they feel? Bringing it back in to what do I think, what do I need, what do I feel, what do I want? And that even sort of dovetails back into sort of at the end of you interviewing me about, you know, what do I do if this other person, and it’s like, you know what, I’m gonna stay in my lane over here. So I appreciate the way that you, you know, brought that in. ’cause because I’m also in the same way we think we need to prioritize certain things and we put ourselves at the bottom of the list if even on the list.
Rodric: Yeah. It reminds me of Neha’s book, I mean, Powered By Me, right? It’s that same, you know, she was doing everything for her parents and everything for her career and everything, and it, it almost killed her. You know, and it’s, you hear the cliches, you know, put your oxygen mask on first.
Nancy: Right.
Rodric: Or, you know, I’ve gotta fill my cup before I can fill yours. But you need to attribute some meaning to those things and what that actually looks like.
Nancy: Right. And the reason they’re cliches is that there, there actually is truth to that.
Rodric: Right. Like, like most good cliches. Right.
Nancy: I’m curious about your experience of publishing your first book.
Rodric: It was a roller coaster. Something I thought about, and I don’t know if we caught it in the first part of the show, but it was knowing that you gave your all right. And you’re the only one that knows if you did that or not.
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodric: And I remember recording and I put it on, you know, all the socials, but it was the day before launch and I just said I’ve, I’ve literally given it all I have. I reached out to as many people as I could. I went on as many shows as I could. Like I was working 18 hour days. I mean, I was absolutely thoroughly used up and exhausted by the time the day of book launch hit. And I didn’t write the book to have a bestseller. I didn’t write the book, you certainly don’t write books to become rich. And that’s, you know,People don’t realize that. But it was, you know, can, if I write this and I can help that one person that is at that phase, it was worth it. And that’s why I yelled at Nicole that day and said, we have to give it all away. It was the Waves Method and the way I’ve operated as an entrepreneur and in my life, I’ve shared it with people around me. I shared it with other business owners in Charlotte as I mentored them. But it’s useful for more people and it’s silly for me to just retire and fits around with the hot rods and build some furniture and never share any of that with anybody. And again, I didn’t know if it would resonate with one person or ten people or, but we ended up hitting number one bestseller in seven Categories on Amazon.
Nancy: And I love it.
Rodric: I share this with other authors ’cause they understand the metric, but Yep. I wanted to hit top 100,000 of all books on Amazon, which is 30 million books.
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodic: And for people that don’t understand, you’re competing with Oprah in the Bible and Prince Harry.
Nancy: Yes, it’s true.
Rodric: Whatever the thing is. And we hit 1563 out of all books. So I crushed that goal.
Nancy: Fantastic.
Rodic: And yeah, it was, it was awesome. And the, and the feedback since then and just the, the lives that it changes, and it sounds trite maybe, but it’s, you know, once you, once you hear something, you can’t unhear it. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Nancy: Right.
Rodric: And that’s, you know, they read the book, they might not do anything with it now, but maybe in 15 years the, the light bulb goes off and it changes their trajectory.
Nancy: Absolutely. And you know, having been in the publishing business for a dozen years, I can also tell you that what you really want is a word of mouth worthy book, which I do think you have. You know, it’s not about, you know, it’s not about the best seller list. It’s not about, you know, it’s not about what happens even in the first week of what happens. It’s, is your book still relevant 10 years from now? Are people still talking about it? Are people still buying it? And that’s what I think is pretty cool is to, you know, have people even, you know, like come into my coaching program and they’re, and they’re saying, you know, I read your first book 10 years ago,nine years ago. Yeah. You know, that’s cool. Like, that’s really cool. And I believe you have that for sure.
Rodric: I appreciate that. I think about the fact that you and I wouldn’t be talking right now if I didn’t write that book and how special this connection is. I don’t write the book. I don’t find Amber, I don’t mc books in business. I don’t meet Nancy. Like..
Nancy: Right.
Rodic: You know, you can work backwards through so many different avenues, but Yeah.
Nancy: You know, it’s the old sort of like sliding doors. If I had gone this direction, this would’ve happened if I’d gone this direction. And that’s why I really will often say that those, those real moments of choice point moments in our lives are so critical because whatever we choose in that moment is what will bring our future to us. And you know, like I I will often say our present moment choice is our crystal ball. You know, it predicts our future and we have so much more power than we think we have.
Rodric: Oh yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I think, I think about how many books are unwritten, you know, and I put this in there, you know, in the at in the basements of your home and in the, in the attics of your mind is what I wrote in the book. But it’s, you know, because of what we talked about, fear. Right. You know, you’re, you’re afraid to put yourself out there. You’re afraid of being judged, you’re afraid of, you know, whatever the thing is. And it’s, I think that’s part of our mission too, right? Is what you just said, you know, people are so much more powerful than they think they are. And I think if you can, if you’re an average Joe like me and you can write a book and you can change some lives, so can you.
Nancy: Yeah.
Rodic: You know, and it’s easier than ever now than, than it ever was. So, Yeah.
Nancy: I think the greatest gift we can give in our lives is really expressing what’s true and being able to stand in the spotlight and being able to be visible and being able to really offer from that, that place of giving.
Rodic: Yeah. When, when I was graduating college, I was in Alpha Kappa, the business fraternity and my, one of my fraternity brothers, Dan, we all wrote little notes to each other when we were graduating and he said, there’s something to learn from everyone. And I don’t remember what anybody else wrote to me, but I remember Dan writing that and it’s so true. You know, there’s, I don’t want to learn to dribble a basketball from Michael Jordan. I wanna learn from the kid who’s three years ahead of me. You know, he’s gonna have better tips.
Nancy: Right. Totally. I love that.
Rodic: Everybody has something to offer.
Nancy: Everybody has something to offer. So why don’t you tell the listeners where they can find you and where they can take your cool quiz. Itook it.
Rodric: We won’t reveal your result unless you want to.
Nancy: You can reveal my results.
Rodric: Milliondollarflipflops.com if you wanna take the quiz, it’s milliondollarflipflops.com/quiz. Super easy.
Nancy: Yep.
Rodric: And at million dollar flip flops on every channel, I’m very, very easy to find. We are most active on Instagram. It’s where I find most entrepreneurs to congregate versus LinkedIn or Facebook. And I would love to hear from people, so especially about this episode, ’cause it’s kind of cool we did a joint episode.
Nancy: I Know it’s really fun.
Rodric: And Rodric at million dollar follow flops.com. That’s how you can email me. Nancy, I am so grateful that we were able to do this. This was, if nobody ever listens to this, I had a blast for the last hour.
Nancy: Me too.
Rodric: So hopefully people find some value.
Nancy: I hope so too. I believe they will. Thank you Rodric. And thank you everybody for listening.
Rodric: Thank you Nancy. And thanks to all listeners.
Nancy: Thanks so much for joining me today. I invite you to head on over to nancylevin.com to check out all the goodies I have there for you. And if you’ve enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a rating and a review. I’ll meet you back here next week.