Episode 241 Transcript: Are You Afraid to Want More? Trust Your Desire!
0:00:03:11 – 00:00:41:13
Nancy Levin
All right, let’s talk about wanting not just casual preference or surface level craving. I mean deep wanting. The kind that pulses quietly beneath the surface. The one thing that keeps showing up even when you try to shut it down. The wanting you resist. And here’s the truth. Many of us are deeply uncomfortable with wanting. We were never taught how to honor our desires.
00:00:41:15 – 00:01:10:09
Nancy Levin
We were taught to delay them, to dismiss them, to distrust them, even to demonize them. And maybe you’ve said things like, “I don’t have time to think about what I want,” or “What I want doesn’t even matter,” or “I shouldn’t want more. I already have enough.” Or maybe, most painfully, “Who am I to want anything when so many people have so much loss?”
00:01:10:11 – 00:01:38:29
Nancy Levin
These thoughts aren’t just passing mental noise. They’re rooted in conditioning and guilt in generational narratives about work and sacrifice and scarcity. And they are the voice of resistance. And if you’ve heard that voice, you’re not alone. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that voice is so familiar to you, you might not even recognize it as resistance anymore.
00:01:39:01 – 00:02:15:18
Nancy Levin
It might just sound like common sense, like maturity, like being realistic or responsible or practical. But what if it’s not any of those things? What if it’s just fear dressed up in sensible clothing? Let’s name it really clearly here. One thing has become taboo. We’ve been told that wanting is selfish, that to want more is to be ungrateful, that it’s indulgent or extravagant or greedy to even entertain the idea that there could be more available to us.
00:02:15:25 – 00:02:47:08
Nancy Levin
More joy, more rest, more abundance, more space. We’re taught that it’s a zero sum game. That if we want something, someone else must go without. And so we swallow our desires. We shrink ourselves to fit inside lives that no longer fit us. We perform gratitude while secretly longing for change. We stay busy enough to avoid the truth. We’ve stopped dreaming.
00:02:47:11 – 00:03:22:04
Nancy Levin
Really? Let that land for a moment. When was the last time you let yourself actually dream? Not plan, not strategize, not optimize, but dream? When was the last time you asked yourself what you truly want without immediately following up on all the reasons why you can’t have it? And for most of us, it’s been a while because we’ve learned that one thing leads to disappointment, that dreaming is dangerous, that it’s safer to keep our desires small, manageable, and reasonable.
00:03:22:06 – 00:03:55:22
Nancy Levin
We’ve learned to pre-reject ourselves before anyone else can. We shut down our desires before they even fully form, to say no to ourselves so quickly and automatically that we don’t even notice we’re doing it anymore? And here’s what happens when we do this long enough. We lose touch with ourselves. We forget what brings us joy. We become numb and disconnected, going through the motions of a life we’re not actually living.
00:03:55:24 – 00:04:38:09
Nancy Levin
We become strangers to our own desires and the deeper layer. Many of us believe that wanting and having are unsafe. We’ve linked desire to disappointment, to risk, to shame, to failure. We fear that naming what we want will open us up to heartbreak or judgment, or worse, the possibility that we will be seen as too much. So we protect ourselves by not wanting, by convincing ourselves that we’re fine, that we should just be grateful that this life is good enough as it is.
00:04:38:12 – 00:05:12:13
Nancy Levin
But I’m going to offer you another perspective. What if your desire is not the problem? What if your resistance to desire is the part that needs love? What if the very thing you’ve been pushing away—the wanting, the longing, the hunger for something more— is actually trying to guide you home to yourself? Because here’s what I’ve learned in my own life and in working with thousands of clients: Our desires are not arbitrary.
00:05:12:16 – 00:05:50:24
Nancy Levin
They’re not random whims or selfish impulses. They are breadcrumbs leading us back to who we really are. Beneath the conditioning, beneath the shoulds, beneath the performing, and your desire to rest. That’s your body telling you something important about sustainability, your desire for creative expression. That’s your soul asking to be seen, your desire for deeper connection. That’s your heart reminding you that you’re meant for intimacy, not isolation.
00:05:50:26 – 00:06:23:15
Nancy Levin
Your desire for change. That’s evolution knocking at your door. These aren’t problems to solve or weaknesses to overcome. They’re invitations to listen. That’s the real conversation today. Because resistance isn’t bad. It’s protective. It’s the part of you that learned somewhere along the way that it wasn’t safe to want. Maybe you were told your dreams were unrealistic. Maybe you were shamed for wanting attention, comfort, or pleasure.
00:06:23:21 – 00:06:52:29
Nancy Levin
Maybe you watched someone else get punished for reaching too far, and so now that part of you, the protective part, steps in. Every time a new desire stirs and it whispers to you, don’t go there. It’s not safe for you. Stay small, stay safe. And it feels like safety, but it’s actually suppression. It’s a cage made of logic and fear.
00:06:53:02 – 00:07:17:06
Nancy Levin
And here’s what I want you to hear clearly. You don’t have to fight your resistance. You can honor it. This is so essential. I’m going to say it again. You don’t have to fight your resistance. You can choose to honor it. Most of us have been at war with ourselves for so long. We judge our fear. We judge our shame.
00:07:17:09 – 00:07:45:16
Nancy Levin
We shame our hesitation. We berate ourselves for not being braver, bolder, more willing to take risks. But what if we have it backwards? What if the way through resistance isn’t force, but compassion? What if, instead of fighting it, we could acknowledge it as a survival strategy, one that maybe once served you, but no longer does? You consider that protective part.
00:07:45:18 – 00:08:16:28
Nancy Levin
Thank you for trying to keep me safe. I see you, I appreciate what you’ve done for me, but I don’t need you to protect me from my own desires anymore. I’m ready to do something different. And then you can make a different choice. You can open to your desire. You can begin to trust that your wanting is wisdom, that your desire is a compass, not a flaw.
00:08:17:01 – 00:08:52:25
Nancy Levin
Because here’s the truth. That resistance has been working overtime to keep you safe from disappointment, rejection, failure. But in protecting you from these things, it’s also kept you from joy, from growth, from the full expression of who you are. At some point, you have to ask yourself, is this protection worth the price? So I ask you gently, what have you been pretending not to want?
00:08:52:27 – 00:09:21:22
Nancy Levin
What dream have you buried under responsibility or guilt or fear? What longing keeps resurfacing even though you keep pushing it away? That’s the desire I want to speak to today. Because wanting is human. It’s the spark of life that says there is more for me. I’m not done yet. And yes, we live in a world where not everyone has access to what they want.
00:09:21:25 – 00:09:59:08
Nancy Levin
And yes, there is injustice. And yes, there is inequity. And yes, we must remain conscious of our collective responsibility. But here’s the deal. Repressing your desires doesn’t fix that. Shrinking yourself doesn’t serve. If anything, when you honor your desires, when you live lit up, fully expressed, aligned, abundant, you become part of the medicine for the world. You model what is possible.
00:09:59:14 – 00:10:26:15
Nancy Levin
You contribute from wholeness, not depletion. You give from overflow, not obligation. I know this might be hard to hear if you’ve spent years believing that self-sacrifice is the highest form of love. If you’ve been taught that your needs should always come last, if you’ve internalized the message that wanting anything for yourself is selfish.
00:10:26:18 – 00:10:52:08
Nancy Levin
Because here’s what I’ve witnessed over and over again. The people who are most effective at serving others and making a difference are contributing meaningfully to the world. They’re not the ones running on empty. They’re not the ones who’ve martyred themselves on the altar of everyone else’s needs. They’re the ones who’ve learned to honor their own desires alongside their responsibilities.
00:10:52:10 – 00:11:26:27
Nancy Levin
They’re the ones who’ve discovered that self-care, self-love, and selfishness are what make life sustainable. They’re the ones who realized that you can’t pour from an empty cup, and filling your own cup first isn’t greedy. It’s essential. So what if your desire to rest more isn’t lazy? It’s wise. What if your desire for creative expression isn’t frivolous? It’s unnecessary.
00:11:27:01 – 00:12:03:08
Nancy Levin
What if your desire for change isn’t ungrateful? It’s courageous? What if wanting more doesn’t make you selfish? It makes you human. And that’s what it means to reignite your spark. Not just to think positively, not to force gratitude, but to come back into relationship with your own aliveness. To remember what you long for, to say yes to your own unfolding, even if it’s messy, even if it’s scary, even if it challenges everything you thought you were allowed to want.
00:12:03:10 – 00:12:32:01
Nancy Levin
Because desire is not the enemy. Desire is the beginning of transformation. And if you’re ready to explore this, not just in your head, but in your body, in your choices, in your actions, in your life, I invite you into something deeper. Reignite your spark. It’s for you if you are done dimming yourself. All the details are available for free at nancylevin.com/spark.
00:12:32:03 – 00:13:06:17
Nancy Levin
This is a free five day experience where we’re going to do exactly what we’ve been talking about here today. You’re going to reconnect with your desires, the ones you’ve been pushing away, the ones you’ve been pretending don’t matter, the ones you’ve been afraid to name. Over five days, you’ll receive emails from me with videos, coaching guidance, a workbook to capture what emerges, and simple daily practices that help you reconnect with what you really want.
00:13:06:19 – 00:13:37:23
Nancy Levin
For just 15 minutes a day. Not what you should want, not what makes sense, but what you truly, deeply, honestly want. Because this is not about hustle. It’s not about performance. It is about permission and presence to want to feel and to live because you deserve this. Not someday. Not after you’ve earned it. But now. And I want to be clear about something.
00:13:37:25 – 00:14:12:18
Nancy Levin
This is not about being reckless or irresponsible. It’s not about abandoning your commitments or ignoring your responsibilities. It’s about finally including yourself in the circle of people you care for. It’s about honoring your own needs alongside everyone else’s. It’s about remembering that you matter too. So if something in you is stirring while listening to this today, if you recognize yourself in the resistance, in the suppression, in the pretending not to want, that’s your invitation.
00:14:12:26 – 00:14:36:10
Nancy Levin
That’s your spark saying, “Remember me? I’m still in here.” So I’m going to leave you with this. Your desires are not the problem. Your resistance to your desires is what’s keeping you stuck. And you don’t have to fight that resistance. You can honor it. You can thank it for trying to protect you. And then you can make a different choice.
00:14:36:12 – 00:15:15:10
Nancy Levin
You can choose to listen to the wanting. You can choose to trust that your desires are guiding you toward something true. You can choose to believe that you’re worthy of wanting, worthy of having, worthy of living a life that actually lights you up. This is what we ignite. Your spark is designed to help you. Not through theory or philosophy, but through daily practices that reconnect you with you, through gentle invitations that help you remember what you’ve been pretending to forget through permission, to want what you want without apology.
00:15:15:12 – 00:15:38:02
Nancy Levin
So again, go to nancylevin.com/spark. It’s free. It’s five days. It’s 15 minutes a day. And it has the power to change everything. Because here’s what I know to be true. You didn’t come this far to keep dimming your light. You didn’t navigate everything you’ve navigated just to spend the rest of your life pretending you don’t have desires.
00:15:38:07 – 00:16:07:02
Nancy Levin
You didn’t survive everything you’ve survived just to stay small and safe and suppressed. You are meant for more. Not more achievement, not more productivity, but more aliveness, more truth, more full expression of who you are. And it begins with permission to want. And so I am giving you this permission right now. You are allowed to want. You’re allowed to desire.
00:16:07:05 – 00:16:36:25
Nancy Levin
You’re allowed to dream. You’re allowed to long for something different, something more, something truer. Not because you’re ungrateful for what you have, but because you’re human. And humans are meant to grow and evolve and reach and become. Your wanting isn’t a problem to fix. It’s a compass to follow. So follow it. Trust it. And honor it.